Severed
By: Tate

Silence.

The absence of sound existed where there should have been a heartbeat. Jim Ellison strained to hear it, but it was no longer there. The limp body he held in front of him in the icy water showed no signs of life. Blair was dead. He let his forehead drop against his Guide's shoulder willing back the rising tide of emotion within him.

How could this have happened? In the past, the psychic link had generously protected the Sentinel without regard for the welfare of the Guide. Now it had come in to being to save the younger man, and Jim hadn't been able to use it to do just that. He'd failed.

"I'm sorry," he whispered aloud, knowing his friend could no longer hear him.

Earlier, when he had felt Sandburg sever the bond in an effort to keep Jim from feeling the moment of his death, he'd felt as though something very real had been ripped away. He'd practically zoned on the feeling for a tense moment before leaping out of the truck and diving into the water after his friend.

And now Blair was dead.

The intensity of the moment seemed more real than anything Ellison had ever experienced before. His senses captured the scene with preternatural clarity. Jim could feel each thread of the wet fabric beneath his forehead, the texture of long hair brushing against his cheek, the warmth fleeing the body held in his unwavering grip, and the water as it pulsed around them both. But soon, as the truth of his loss began to take hold, Ellison felt his grip on the world around him slip away. Quietly and without a struggle, he fell into the void that had once been the presence of another soul.

The alarm rang.

Jim woke all at once in a spasm of sheer terror, heart racing. It had been a nightmare, just a nightmare. Blair was alive. He took a deep breath and ran a hand over his face.

Three months had passed since he and Sandburg had been rescued from the cold waters of the Pacific by the coast guard. They'd revived Blair, and captured his kidnappers. Since then, he'd never once flashed back on the incident with such clarity. In fact, most of what he'd just recalled must have happened during his zone-out.

As the silence in the loft settled around him, Jim imagined one possible reason for the dream. It could be that subconsciously he'd sent his senses in search of his Guide, and finding no signs of life in the loft other than his own, he'd reawakened the horrifying memory. Blair was away on a hiking trip, and this was the first morning in quite some time Ellison hadn't heard him in the loft. Could Blair's absence have sent him reeling into the past?

Jim turned on his back and stretched, wondering if there was any way he could contact his friend, just to know he was okay. "This is silly, Ellison," he said to himself. "Blair's fine. If he wasn't you'd be the first to know."

****

Standing on the deck of the ship, Blair had made the only choice he thought might save him. But the instant he struck the water, he knew he wouldn't survive. Realization dawned with returning memories, and the need to draw away from the connection with Jim. He couldn't feel this. He shouldn't know death as it came for his Guide.

Water rushed into Blair's mouth. Icy coldness surrounded him, chilling him to the bone. Waves washed over his head like the hand of the sea forcing him under. He managed to pull himself away from the ship, out of reach of his captors, but his new enemy would surely kill him. The pain of his earlier ordeal left him without any strength to fight. This was truly the end. Nothing and no one could save him--not the power of his own will or Jim's.

He was drowning.

He couldn't breathe. He flailed desperate for air. The absence of his connection with Jim ached like a wound, but there had been no other choice. How could he let his friend feel this? No one should have to die more than once. It would be better this way, for the both of them. But why did he have to feel so alone? He'd never felt so alone in his entire life as he did now at this moment. Desperation turned to darkness and darkness to death.

Sandburg woke, gasping for air and instinctively calling out for Jim. He sat up in his sleeping bag meeting the first rays of the morning sun and the concerned face of his hiking buddy, Alex Lindner.

"Hey, you okay, man?"

Blair ran a shaky hand through his long hair. "Yeah, just a dream."

"You wanna talk about it?" Alex asked. He sat, long legs pulled up and arms crossed over them, on the other side of a dead campfire. He had already bound his hair, which was longer than Blair's, behind his head, and rolled up his own sleeping bag.

"I'd rather not, but thanks. I guess we'd better pack up and start out if we're going to make it to the base of Wilton's Peak today."

His friend nodded, but his brown eyes still shown with worry. "You're sure everything's okay? You called out for your roommate."

"It was just a bad memory coming back. Nothing more."

Alex seemed to know when his probing wasn't welcome. He dropped the subject and began packing up their gear. Blair felt a twinge of guilt. Alex was working on his doctorate in Psychology and had an obvious need to help people with their problems. This was just an attempt to give Blair a chance to open up, and though Blair would normally welcome the invitation, he couldn't talk about the bond he shared with Ellison or the detective's Sentinel abilities with anyone. Still, he felt he owed his friend an explanation, especially since Alex had asked him to come up here and share in his "pre-wedding communal with nature thing," as he called it.

Blair disengaged himself from the bag and stood. "Look, I didn't mean to be so abrupt. It's just a very bad memory. About three months ago, I almost drowned. Jim managed to get to me in time. It was a police observer stint gone bad." As he spoke, he rolled up his own bag, trying to give more levity to his words by engaging in the task at hand.

Alex turned his attention back to Blair. "I'm sorry, man. I didn't know. That was when you were out on sick leave for a while?"

"Yeah." Blair realized he had taken a good deal of sick time lately to recuperate from these traumas. It was a wonder the university hadn't relieved him of his position.

"Did you talk to someone about your experience?"

"No," Blair admitted. "They offered to have me see a psychologist at the police department, but I didn't think it was necessary."

Alex's right eyebrow raised. "If you're having nightmares, I'd say it's necessary."

"Are you offering to be my therapist?" Blair asked, playfully.

"I'd be honored, but I think you really need to see a professional."

"For a couple of nightmares?" Blair grinned and shook his head. "I don't think so."

"What happened to you was traumatic," Alex said. "Humor me and make an appointment when we get back. What have you got to lose?"

'Secrets,' Blair thought. He couldn't describe the depth of the trauma he'd suffered without describing the psychic link he shared with Jim. His impending death coupled with the loss of contact with his Sentinel had ignited sheer terror in him. It had been the right thing to do though. He had no other choice but to sacrifice a few more moments of Jim's presence to spare him the awareness of his death. Blair had known how he would feel if Jim died in his own head; he had no intention of allowing his friend to go through that.

Lost in his thoughts, Blair didn't notice Alex approach him until he felt a hand on his arm. "Earth to Blair. Come in, man," he said, attempting to snap Blair out of his reverie.

"I was just thinking."

Alex released his arm. "Am I going to have to escort you to a therapist when we get back to Cascade?"

"No. I'll go," Blair conceded, realizing it was the only way to get his well-meaning friend off his back. He would never betray Jim's abilities or their shared link to anyone. Even though psychiatrists had to keep their patient's revelations confidential, he couldn't trust anyone else with the knowledge, knowing full well it could put them both in danger. He'd go, but he knew the therapist couldn't help him with what was really troubling him.

"Good. Let's get packed and get going then," Alex said.

****

Ellison walked into the bullpen, ignoring the buzz of activity around him. He sat down at his desk and thumbed through a stack of paperwork. Now was as good a time as any to sift through some of it. His shift of the stakeout on a suspected drug den wasn't scheduled to begin until noon, and there was nothing else on his list today. 'Leave it to Sandburg to be gone when Cascade is actually safe,' he mused.

"Ellison!" Simon shouted from the door of his office.

Jim stood and walked over to him. "What do you need, Simon?"

The captain motioned for Jim to enter. He closed the door behind the detective. "I've got something you need to see."

Jim frowned at the prospect of another case. 'Maybe Sandburg is safer in the wilderness,' he thought. But his frown turned into a smile when he saw the tickets Simon pulled out of his desk.

Simon flashed them in front of his face. "Two tickets to see the Jags tonight. You up for it, Jim?"

"You bet! What's the occasion?"

"Anderson's anniversary."

"What?"

"Anderson bought these and only just remembered he and his wife are celebrating their anniversary today." Simon grinned. "He spent his lunch buying a present for her."

"I guess forty-eight hour windows don't work when you're married."

"I don't follow you."

"It's just something Sandburg once said," Jim explained.

"Speaking of Sandburg, how's life without the kid?"

The way Simon phrased the question sent a sudden shiver up Jim's spine. He did his best to ignore it. "Makes for a quiet loft," he replied simply.

"He'll be back before you know it." Simon clapped a hand against the Sentinel's back. "Then you'll wish he had more friends who like to commune with nature."

Jim nodded. "When do you want to meet?"

Simon shrugged. "You up for some Cuban food before the tip off?"

"Sounds good to me. I'll swing by your place at six." Jim turned to leave.

"Hey, Jim."

"Yeah." Ellison turned his attention back to his captain.

"Are you okay?"

"Fine, Simon." Jim pulled open the door and returned to the bullpen, a sense of foreboding shadowing him. 'It's not me I'm worried about,' he thought.

****

For Blair, the hike to the base of Wilton's Peak was spent thinking about what happened three months before. The nightmare had awakened vivid memories of his kidnapping and his ordeal at the hands of a woman bent on revenge.

He'd come so close to losing his life, but Jim had managed to save him again. Now, he was afraid by severing the link when he did, he'd lost Jim's trust. There was something different in the air between them now. An invisible boundary. He wondered if either of them would cross it. How could he be a Guide to a Sentinel who didn't trust him?

A shudder passed through him. It was pronounced enough not to go unnoticed. "Blair, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, man. Just a chill," he answered without turning around.

"It's almost 80 degrees. Turn around and tell me the truth," Alex urged.

Blair stopped walking. He sighed and turned to face his friend. "Alex, we don't have time for this."

"It doesn't matter if we don't get to climb Wilton's Peak. You hate heights anyway. Talk to me."

Blair shook his head. The slight breeze brushed his curls in front of his face, and he pushed them back. "I can't talk about this."

"Why?"

"Because I'd be betraying a confidence."

"Well, what can you tell me?"

"Not much."

Alex shrugged off his pack and sat down beside it on the path. "I'm all ears, man."

****

"Too spicy for you, Jim?" Simon asked, motioning to the almost untouched meal sitting in front of the detective.

Jim looked up from his plate. Ignoring Simon's obvious reference to his Sentinel abilities, he replied, "Nah, I'm just not hungry."

"You should have told me. We could have waited until after the game."

"No biggie," Jim replied, setting the fork down and picking up his beer. He took a drink and then set it down again.

Simon placed his fork across his own empty plate, and wiped his mouth with his napkin. "What's up?"

Ellison opened his mouth to answer. He was about to concoct some unrelated reason for his melancholy, but his momentary hesitation gave his friend the opportunity to cut him off. Simon waved a hand in front of him. "Don't give me that. I know something's bothering you."

Jim dropped his gaze from Simon's and lowered his voice. "It's Sandburg." Simon's laugh startled the detective. His blue eyes returned to the man seated across from him. "What's so funny?" He couldn't hide the accusatory tone in his voice. This was a serious topic.

"The kid is a couple hundred miles away, and he's still getting in you're hair. Really, Jim, you need to get a life. What did he do this time?"

"No, it's nothing like that," Jim insisted. "I had a nightmare this morning. It was so real, so vivid. It was like I was there again, in the water with him, and..." Jim's voice trailed for a moment, and then he added quietly, "and he was dead."

Simon sobered immediately. "I'm sorry. It must have been a horrible experience for you. It's no wonder you're having nightmares."

"I think not hearing him in the loft triggered it. When he died, Simon..." Jim cleared his throat, and then continued, "I zoned. I completely lost touch with reality. I didn't recall any of that until I had the dream this morning. It was like being sucked into a big black hole."

"Blair's okay," Simon said, trying his best to comfort him. "He's alive, and probably having a hell of a time on his trip. I know the dream brought everything back, but you have to let it go. It's over."

"You're right. I know you're right," Jim said. He took another swig of his beer, and managed to smile. Blair would be home soon, and their life would return to normal--as normal as the life of a Sentinel and Guide could be. When separated, the psychic thread linking them would give warning of anything untoward befalling either of them. Jim would always know when Blair needed him. He was confident of that much.

"Are you ready to head out?" Simon asked, motioning for the waitress.

Jim checked his watch. "It's just about that time."

The captain insisted on paying for the meal with his credit card and gave little room for Jim to protest. Signing the bill, he took his copy and left the other on the table. As they walked out, Simon grabbed Jim's arm. "Look, we can do a game some other time. If you want to talk more, I'm here for you."

"I'm fine, Blair's fine, and I think I'm ready to see the Jags win tonight!"

Simon smiled. "Let's go then."

****

Blair had managed to reveal very little to Alex and it was exactly the way the younger man had wanted it. All he had been willing to admit was he felt he'd let Jim down by getting into a dangerous situation in the first place. He also said he was afraid Jim didn't trust him anymore. It was the absolute truth and the crux of Blair's current anxiety. He believed Alex didn't need to know why he felt that way. He couldn't know why.

Now, as dusk fell on their campsite at the north base of Wilton's Peak, Alex convened an amateur therapy session. "If I were Jim, what would you say to me right now?"

Blair couldn't stifle a laugh.

"Come on, man, what would you say?"

Composing himself, Sandburg took a moment to think about Alex's question. He wondered if he could mend the rift with words. If so, which ones? Certainly it wouldn't be as easy as 'Jim, sorry I was an ass and cut you off. Forgive me?' No, that would be too simple. It would have to be a dissertation, a detailed explanation of the workings of his mind when he made the decision. Jim had to know it had been a selfless decision, not a selfish one. They'd talked about it, albeit briefly, when he'd come home from the hospital. What was the problem then? Why did Jim feel so distant for the last couple of months?

"I don't know what I'd say," Blair replied, truthfully.

Alex bore an expression of sincere sympathy that would undoubtedly serve him well in his future career. "I'm guessing part of your problem stems from a failure to communicate, huh?"

"Yeah," Sandburg agreed. "Sometimes Jim isn't too easy to open up to. I mean, he's a great person, but he doesn't reciprocate. Most of the time I have no idea what's going on in his head." He almost laughed at his own comment. 'When I do know, I happen to be in it at the time,' he thought. 'And I happen to be more concerned with his well being than in figuring him out.'

"Has he, either verbally or otherwise, given you a sign he's upset with you?"

"Well, no but..."

"But what? Has he said things to other people or treated you any differently?"

Blair thought about it, but couldn't come up with any specifics. No, he wasn't being treated differently. Their relationship just somehow felt different.

****

The Jags emerged victorious. Ellison and Banks exited the arena in the throng of elated fans. The celebratory mood was infectious. On the way to Jim's truck, he asked Simon if he'd like to go for a drink, and the captain had immediately agreed.

"Great game. Wow!" Jim commented, as he drew his keys out of his pocket.

"Yeah, did you see Wilcox? The man has a gift for three pointers. He's just ama..." Simon broke off when he noticed Jim's eyes had taken on a far away look. "Jim, what's the matter?"

Ellison put up a hand, signaling Simon to stay quiet. He needed to concentrate. He crouched on the pavement beside his truck and put his hands against it. There it was again. Unmistakable. The earth had moved beneath them. Ellison stood and covered the distance to a grassy area in five quick strides. He had to be sure. He resumed his former posture on the ground, knowing Simon was eyeing him suspiciously, but unwilling to voice his theory until he knew for sure. Yes. There it was again. The earth had shifted, a fraction of a fraction, but it had moved.

"I think we have a problem." Jim stood, brushing the dirt off his hands, and nodding amicably at a couple of passersby.

"What is it, Jim? What's going on?"

"A tremor," Jim replied.

"I didn't feel anything. Are you sure about this?"

Jim nodded.

"It's not just the mass stampede to exit the parking lot or some heavy machinery operating nearby?"

"I don't think so," Jim replied, looking grim. "Simon, this could turn out to be something serious. I mean, I don't know much about earthquakes, but I do know sometimes there are smaller tremors before the big one."

"Damn," Simon muttered. "We'd better get on the horn to someone who can confirm this."

"What about the geologist at Rainier that helped with the Davis diamond heist? Freed? I think his name is Dr. Robert Freed," Jim suggested.

"Good idea. Let's see if we can get him over to the campus."

Returning to the station, Jim found the professor's home phone number in his records and made the call. The older gentlemen, though initially skeptical, had agreed to talk with them after confirming the tremor with the US Geological Survey.

Apparently, the USGS had been concerned enough about the seismic activity to try to contact the head of Rainier's Geology department, but the man was out of town at a conference. The call from Dr. Freed had been a welcome inquiry. Unfortunately, the ensuing conversation delayed the professor's meeting with Captain Banks and Detective Ellison. It was well past 1 a.m. when the three met at the university.

"I really appreciate this, professor," Jim said, as the scientist unlocked his office.

The professor entered first, flipping on the lights and making his way over to the computer at his desk. Turning it on, he looked back at Jim and Simon. "This type of activity usually isn't a concern," the geologist admitted, "but, after talking with the USGS, I think we may have a problem on our hands."

"You mean this really could be a precursor to something larger?" Simon asked.

"Exactly," Dr. Freed replied in a tone mixed with both wonder and fear. "The fault running up the range in the area in question has been inactive for quite sometime. Normally, we have many minor quakes in Washington that go unnoticed by all but local geologists. But this..." Dr. Freed paused, scratching his bearded chin. "Well, it's really unusual for an area to be so inactive, and then experience a tremor like this. It could definitely be a foreshock." He showed the two men an animated example of the fault on his computer. "When a fault remains dormant, stress builds up over time, and eventually must be released," he explained. Then he switched to a state map of Washington. "The epicenter of the quake was here." He pointed to an area of land about a hundred and fifty miles north of Cascade.

Jim's sudden intake of breath startled both Simon and the professor. "Sandburg," he explained. "My friend, Blair Sandburg, is hiking in that area."

"Tonight's tremor hardly registered on the Richter scale. In fact, I don't know how you managed to feel it, Detective Ellison." He shot Jim a curious look, but continued. "Your friend probably didn't even notice it. But I'm afraid this could only be the beginning. The fault could slip, catastrophically, at any time. These things are hard to predict. The variables are endless. Even a minor, 5.0 would have some impact here in Cascade, though not much. It would, however, affect that area significantly." He pointed again to the map.

Jim's heart sank. Blair was hiking and climbing. Though he hated heights, his friend had convinced him they'd take the easy route up Wilton's Peak. He had to get to Blair before a larger quake struck.

****

Blair woke suddenly out of a deep sleep. He felt as though he'd been nudged. He rolled onto his back, trying to adjust his eyes to the darkness and called out softly, "Alex?"

His only response came in the deep even breathing of his friend next to him. If Alex hadn't been the one to wake him, what had? A bad dream maybe? He didn't remember anything, just a sense of being jostled. Another thought crossed his mind and he called out a second time. "Jim, is that you?" Maybe Ellison was in trouble, and the feeling was the bond expressing itself. "Jim?" he called again, but received no answer.

Staring up into the star-field above, Blair centered himself and sent a silent plea across the distance that separated the two of them. Like the breath that left him in a mist, he hoped the call would travel into the night and reach the Sentinel, if he had need of his Guide. But again the link remained silent. "It's okay," he said, aloud, trying to calm himself. "He's okay."

He heard a grumble beside him. "What's with all the talk?" Alex's groggy voice broke the intensity of the moment.

"Nothing. Go back to sleep, man."

"More nightmares?"

Blair turned on his side facing Alex and propped himself up on one elbow. He could barely make out the outline of his features in the dark. "Don't you ever run out of questions?"

"I'm just trying to help."

Blair swept the hair out of his face. "I know you are. It's just... well, there're just some things I don't want to talk about."

"I understand," Alex replied. An Indiglo flash momentarily lit up the psychologist's face. "It's almost 5 a.m. Do you want to get an early start? By the time we pack and move around to the right location, the sun will be coming up."

"Sounds good. I know I'm not going to be able to go back to sleep." Blair stretched and then stood, hearing his friend stir beside him. "Hey, Alex, what do you mean about the right location? I thought we were starting from here."

"Wouldn't you like a more moderate climb, man? This is just a bit too easy. We'd be walking all the way. If we move around to the west side, we can actually do a bit of climbing. Nothing serious, mind you, just a bit of finding toe holds and a little hand over hand." Alex simulated the climb by walking his hands through the air.

"You had this planned all along," Sandburg said with a laugh. "You're a sneaky devil."

"That I am, man. That I am."

****

Jim felt the second tremor as it reverberated through the tires of his Ford truck. The rubber absorbed most of the it, but his senses were acute enough to take notice. Simon had allowed him to make the drive and warn Sandburg. Even if Simon had protested he'd have gone anyway. Blair needed him. Unfortunately, the captain had to remain at the station. If a severe quake did hit, he would have his hands full as chaos reigned on the streets of Cascade.

It was almost 5 in the morning, and Jim was still a few miles away from the entrance to the state park. He'd been there before and knew the driving trails would lead him within a four-hour hike to the mountain before they ended. With any luck, he could find them by 9:30. He hoped if the fault decided to slip, it would at least wait until after he found Sandburg.

Dr. Freed had been vague with his predictions, and even the conference call into the US Geological Survey hadn't produced any concrete information. The earlier tremor could have been an anomaly, but any additional activity would certainly confirm the growing probability of a larger, more destructive earthquake. Jim had just felt the chances double with this second tremor. Any normal person wouldn't have noticed unless they'd been pressed up against the ground.

Entering the park, Ellison made his way up the narrow roads as fast as he could manage. He hoped the urgent flight would all be for nothing. He hoped the fault would remain dormant, but somehow, he knew it wouldn't.

****

Breathing heavily, Blair scrambled up onto the ledge beside Alex. The last few feet had been a challenge. His friend had brought them both hand gear, but Blair's fingers were already scraped and bleeding, and it was only a little after 6:30. Looking down at the ground below, Blair realized they hadn't come far in the last half hour. He shot Alex an annoyed look.

"Hey, it gets much easier," Alex commented, gesturing ahead of them. "We can walk up most of the rest of the way."

Blair looked up and noticed the path ahead was significantly more level. He wiped his hands on his jeans and managed to stand. "Are you sure there are no surprises ahead, Alex?"

"None. I swear. It was just those first 15 or so feet. The rest is a piece of cake. It's just as easy as the totally easy route."

Sandburg grinned. "I don't know how I let you talk me into this, but I'm not going back now. Lead on."

Alex started ahead, replying as he carefully navigated the rocky terrain. "You let me talk you into this because..."

Just then, the rumbling started.

****

Jim had already deserted his truck, when he felt the ground heave beneath him. This wasn't a barely perceptible tremor; it was the real thing. Tree limbs cracked around him, and the ground shifted beneath him. God, this was it. Where was Sandburg?

Fear for his partner clutched him like a gripping hand. Blair would be on the mountain now, and anything could happen to him. Jim believed if he didn't feel him in his head soon, everything was okay. The link, though he freely admitted to not trusting it, could tell him that much.

Ellison tried to ignore the tumult around him. He continued through the forest. He had to get to Wilton's Peak. He only hoped he didn't stumble into a crack in the earth and get eaten alive by Mother Nature.

****

Everything happened in slow motion. Rocks tumbled toward them from above, and the ground they stood on shifted as if the mountain had taken a breath. Though he'd never been in an earthquake, Blair knew what this was and shot a horrified look at his friend. In moments, they both lost their balance.

Blair fell back, and knowing he'd been mere inches from the edge, wasn't surprised when he went over and down. He heard Alex scream his name and reach for him, but there was nothing his friend could do. Blair closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable.

Coming to consciousness slowly, Blair recognized the voice of his friend repeating over and over, "oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god."

He wanted to open his eyes and tell Alex everything was going to be alright, but the pain suddenly hit him, and he had no voice to do anything but moan. It was a stabbing pain that seemed to go right through him. God, it hurt! Slowly, he opened his eyes.

Alex was kneeling beside him. A long gash above his right eyebrow still bled. He must not have been out for very long. "You're... oh man, I thought you were dead." Alex glanced at Blair's abdomen and then back into his eyes. "You're going to be okay, Blair," he said, moving forward and reaching for his arm. "Everything is going to be okay."

Blair lifted his head slightly and noticed what had captured Alex's attention. There was a branch protruding from his side. The source of his pain. "Shit!" he exclaimed. As he took a breath, the movement revealed the branch had actually entered him from behind. He'd been impaled. He should be dead. As the knowledge of his injury took hold, he felt his grip on consciousness begin to slip away. His eyes rolled up in his head.

"Oh, no you don't," Alex said, tapping the side of his face. "Don't do this, Blair. Stay with me."

Blair struggled back to the surface, blinking until Alex's face came into focus. "I'm going to die," he whispered.

"No, you're not."

Blair nodded feebly. He was going to die. How could anyone survive being impaled? And where was Jim? Shouldn't the Sentinel be in his head right about now? He didn't realize he'd said the name aloud, but he must have.

"Jim's not here, but you are going to be okay, Blair."

Alex was right about one thing: Jim wasn't there. He wasn't in Blair's head. What had happened to the link? Why hadn't it activated? 'I need you, Jim.' As he sent the plea, his eyes began to water. He bit his lip, and tried to hold back the tears.

"I can't move you. It wouldn't be safe. I've gotta go for help, and you just need to hang on."

Blair turned his head slightly. The movement sent a tear down the side of his face. "Don't leave me."

Though Blair's voice had become a mere whisper, Alex understood him. "You are going to be fine, Blair," he said, firmly. "We can't take the risk of someone just passing by. This is a big place. I have to go for help." He touched Blair's shoulder, and attempted a smile. "I expect to see you at my wedding, man." He released Blair and stood, turning away for a moment. When he returned, he covered him with a jacket, careful not to disturb the branch. Then, trying to make him as comfortable as possible, he rolled up a sweatshirt and placed it under Blair's head. "I'll be back in a few," Alex said.

Blair noticed the pained expression on Alex's face as he turned to leave. His friend was right. Short of a miracle or Jim Ellison, no one would find them here if they waited. Alex knew this area well and would surely find a park ranger or another camper. But would he get back in time?

Blair's hand hovered around his injury. Warm blood was soaking his shirt around the tear. Trying to dislodge the branch himself would mean certain death from loss of blood. Though he had trouble believing the branch had gone all the way through his body, the pain told him it had. 'How could this have happened? And where in the hell is Jim?' he wondered.

A sudden thought caused him to moan in desperation. Maybe something had happened to Jim, too. Here he was, believing the link had failed him, when Jim could be injured or even dead. The quake must have had some kind of effect on Cascade. Possibly, when both of them were injured, the link shut down, somehow knowing neither of them could help the other. Blair vowed if he survived, he had to find some way to learn more about the mysterious psychic connection between Sentinel and Guide. But as each minute passed, he felt his chances of survival diminish.

It wasn't long before he started to feel very lightheaded, almost as if he were floating. 'It must be the loss of blood,' he thought. Still, he wasn't losing consciousness. The pain gripped him like a vice, and soon, he began to feel cold. His whole body shook with it, aggravating the wound. He knew his condition was deteriorating. Even if Alex found help, they might only return to retrieve his body.

Then the unthinkable happened. The ground shook again.

****

Jim Ellison stopped in his tracks as the earth shifted again. He couldn't believe this. His senses confirmed the quake was at least as severe as the first had been. He could only hope Blair and his friend had sought shelter and were both safe. The link hadn't come to life, but he felt a growing sense of dread. He wouldn't be satisfied until he saw Blair standing in front of him in one piece. As the quake began to subside, he carefully resumed his trek through the forest toward the visible peak in the distance.

Less than a half hour later, he heard a sound in his head. A moan. Blair. His heart skipped as he called aloud, "Chief, it's me. Where are you? What's happened?"

'Jim?'

"Yeah, it's me, buddy," Jim replied, trying to keep the panic out of his voice. "What's happened?"

'I... oh man, it hurts. Jim...' The link fell silent.

"Blair!" Ellison shouted, as he scrambled through the debris littering the forest floor without regard for his own safety. His gut feeling had been right, and now he had to use every sense to find his partner among the vast expanse of land on and around Wilton's Peak. He was still about an hour from the base of the mountain. If only Blair could tell him exactly where he was, but all his calls went unanswered.

****

Since the second quake, Blair had slipped in and out of consciousness. The shifting of the debris beneath him had sent an incredible wave of pain through his body. Limbs had cracked, and he was certain the branch impaling him had come lose from the larger trunk that supported his back. Unfortunately, this had only served to push the branch farther through him, and the blood had begun to flow more freely. He didn't think it could get much worse, but in seconds, it had.

He was having trouble keeping his eyes open. In the space between the waking world and the pain-invoked darkness, he'd heard Jim call him. It was probably only an illusion. After all this time, if Jim were able, he certainly would have heard and answered his pleas.

'I could just let go,' he thought. 'Let go and let it happen.' He stared up at the blue sky above him and willed himself to be calm. The last thing he wanted was to meet death with fear. Everyone died, but not everyone had had the chance to live the dream he had. He'd accomplished a great deal. He'd found a true Sentinel and made a loyal friend. He'd done more than most had in a lifetime. Still, he didn't want it to end like this.

His mind and thoughts seemed to rise above him as he slipped away.

'SANDBURG!' The name seemed to have been shouted in his ear. His eyes flew open, but there was no one around. The voice sounded familiar, especially as tinged with anger as it was. He'd heard it before. But who was it, and where was the source? His muddled brain couldn't come up with a name. And what did it matter anyway? There was no one around for miles. No, he didn't have time to think about it. His time was growing short. Certainly there were other, more important issues to resolve before the end came. And it was near. He could feel it in the coldness of his limbs and the shallowness of his breath. The remnants of the dead tree beneath him would serve as his own deathbed. 'SANDBURG!' There it was again. The voice was clearly male, and the agitation echoing in it seemed closer to fear than anger. The sound of it sent an answering pang of fear through Blair. Hadn't he already gotten beyond that? Now, here it was again, and his struggling heart beat faster with the emotion. Calm. He had to stay calm. 'Blair, please, answer me.'

Suddenly, his mind sparked with the name of the person who called him. The revelation sent a surge of energy through him he thought had all been spent. He tried to sit up abruptly, forgetting his injury in his excitement. But it hadn't forgotten him. The wound screamed, and he screamed with it. It wasn't an inarticulate cry of pain that came from him, but the name of the only person who could save him now. "Jim!"

'Stay with me, buddy,' the voice replied. 'Tell me where you are.'

"By the... Wilton's Peak," Blair managed through clenched teeth. The pain had cleared his mind, but it was battering his body.

'I know, but where exactly?'

"West side, near the base."

Their connection seemed to falter; Jim must have sensed it happening. 'Blair, stay with me. Don't let go. I'm coming for you.'

In his relief, Sandburg almost managed to smile. Jim was coming, everything would be okay now. But how far was he? How long would it be before the Sentinel found him? "Jim?" he called. "Where are you, man?"

There was no reply.

****

"Damn!" Ellison cursed as the link failed yet again. He wondered what had happened to Blair that would have such an effect on the bond they shared. In the past, even when Blair became unconscious, Jim could sense his presence and feel his life force through the thread. Now each time he lost contact with his friend, it seemed to disappear entirely as though it had never existed.

Even though he was running, he knew he couldn't reach his injured partner in much less than an hour. The idea he might be too late was unacceptable. Maybe if he could reestablish the link, he could do something to help Blair from this distance. Sandburg had helped him when he was shot, and he could offer no less in return.

'Please, Chief, talk to me. Let me help you.'

No sound, heartbeat, or any sign of life came to him through the dead link, but he refused to give up. Nothing could convince him he was powerless to save Blair. Hope was all he had.

****

Disconnected. The line had gone dead like a phone in a storm. Dead, like he would be soon. Like he had been once, when he'd severed the bond. That was it! This was his doing. It had to be. Blair's eyes clouded with more tears. He'd done this to himself by cutting the link months ago right before he drowned. Since then, it hadn't come to life, but he hadn't needed it as much as he did now. The absence of the link could have caused him to think something had changed between him and Ellison. It was the invisible boundary he'd felt. It'd actually been of his own making. Why hadn't he thought of this before? And, he wondered, how could he heal the rift if he barely had the strength to stay alive?

He blinked, and another tear slid down the side of his face. He couldn't suppress a cough as the thickness in his throat caught his breath. More pain. And yet more tears. He seemed to be caught in an endless cycle of misery.

Blair remembered something he'd told Jim when the drug, Golden, had claimed his eyesight. He'd encouraged the Sentinel to remake the connection. To try to see. He had to take his own advice. He had to try to rebuild the bridge he had destroyed. It was his only chance.

Closing his eyes, he reached out with his mind, searching for Jim with his thoughts. He focused on repairing the connection, envisioning a broken cord and re-threading the ends with his waning energy. Breaking the bond proved to be much easier than healing it. He was sure his next breath would prove to be his last. But each time he exhaled, he forced himself to inhale, and used yet another precious second to attempt to reestablish the psychic link.

After what seemed like an eternity, a blinding flash lit the dark corners of his mind. Like a lightning bolt, it sent a shock wave through his system. He opened his eyes and took a sudden breath releasing it in a whispered name. "Jim."

'I'm here, Chief. I'm with you.' The words were tinged with obvious relief. 'I don't know what happened, but I'm not letting go.'

'Where?' Even in his mind, Blair was losing the ability to thread words together.

'I'm close.'

The phrase uttered in Blair's head sent a wave of calmness through him. Close. Jim would find him soon.

The peace was short lived. He coughed again. This time, he tasted blood. More than just a trace of it filled his mouth, and he gagged on it, choking most of it back down. Maybe it was already too late. He'd managed to remake the link just in time for Jim to feel him die. 'How ironic,' he thought, as he took another breath. Exhaling, he felt the darkness take him.

'No! Don't you dare, Sandburg!' The words came through the bond loud and clear, preceded by a surge of energy reminiscent of the first lightning flash. Blair felt each syllable as though someone were physically shaking him. He took a breath. 'That's it. Stay with me.'

'Can't.'

'You can. You will. Just keep breathing.'

Blair did his best to comply with the voice, but it grew harder. Each time he faltered Jim screamed at him, sending him another jolt of energy that kept his lungs filling and his heart beating. Blair knew without the Sentinel's constant attention, he'd be dead already. What he couldn't guess was how much of his own vigor Jim could spare before he'd be forced to give up the search, collapsing somewhere he'd never be found. Then, they'd both likely die.

He almost didn't recognize the real touch when he felt it, or know the difference between the voice in his head and the sound reaching his ears. "Chief, open your eyes, buddy. Can you do that for me? Come on, open your eyes." A hand brushed the side of his face, fingers threading into his hair, bringing warmth to coldness. He wanted to open his eyes, but he was afraid he was hallucinating. He was afraid he'd be alone again. "I'm right here, Chief. You're going to be okay." The strong voice broke slightly on the last word. His eyes fluttered open in response.

Blair wanted to cry with relief from the sight that greeted him, but he was beyond tears now. Jim stared down at him. The Sentinel was pale and winded, his blue eyes filled with concern. Blair mouthed his name.

"Yeah, buddy. I'm right here." Another hand gripped his shoulder, kneading it gently.

Jim, too, had sensed the awesome reawakening of the link and quickly noted the seriousness of his partner's condition. He did everything he could for the younger man without dropping himself in the process. When he finally heard Blair's heartbeat, slow and erratic, he'd let the sound lead him. What he found brought an ache to his chest.

The younger man lay awkwardly on the debris of a fallen tree. A limb had impaled him. Fresh and dried blood covered Blair's clothes and darkened the remnants of the once living bark. Only the sound of a beating heart whispered life in a scene that screamed of death. Jim was struck by the coldness of the skin beneath his hand when he touched Blair. And though he sighed audibly when his partner opened his eyes in response to his urging, the look in them spoke of defeat. They were clouded and distant, but Blair recognized him. His lips moved, forming Jim's name, but emitting no sound. After assuring the young man he wasn't a vision, Ellison proceeded to assess the situation.

He hadn't done much more than try to make Blair comfortable, when a sound reached his ears. Someone was approaching. Actually, from what he could make out, it could be more than one person. Ellison stood and turned toward the noise.

Beside him Blair moaned. Jim immediately turned back to his partner. "It's okay. I'm here. Someone's coming, Blair. It could be more help," he explained.

The younger man didn't seem to have heard him. "Sorry," he whispered.

For the first time, Ellison notice the blood gathering in the corner's of Blair's mouth. His heart sank, but he tried to keep his voice level. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Chief. Don't try to talk. Save your strength."

Blair wanted to tell Jim he had no strength left to save. Every breath he took was a gift given to him by Jim. Though he couldn't even spare one to mutter the words, he needed to say he was sorry. He wanted to explain just how sorry he was for severing the bond, for thinking Jim had lost trust in him, when the rift was of his own making. And he had to say how sorry he was for dying. He knew it would happen. It was only a matter of time now. His eye lids felt heavy. He closed them.

He felt warm hands on either side of his face. "Chief, come on, stay with me."

Blair felt a sudden surge of energy through the bond. Jim was desperately trying to save his life, and though he was grateful, he believed the Sentinel's efforts were in vain.

"Don't let go, Chief."

Remembering another close brush with death, and how his mind had taken him to the dam, placing him on the ledge, Blair understood Jim's reference. It would be so easy to let go now, easier even than it had been then. He didn't believe Jim could stop his descent this time. Just as those thoughts passed through his mind, he felt death like the touch of a foreign wind caressing him. The ground fell away beneath him taking the tree and his pain. Though the peace was welcome, he missed the feel of Jim's hands holding him, but he knew he was there. He wasn't dying alone.

Blair didn't open his eyes. The next breath he took couldn't have filled his lungs. When it left his body, he didn't take another.

"No." The word left Jim in a breath charged with emotion. It was happening again, and like the first time, he felt powerless to stop it. He fought the urge to lose himself, as he had before, concentrating on the sound of the weakening heart and the link that still existed between Sentinel and Guide. Blair still lived, but without help, he wouldn't live much longer.

Jim sent another wave of his own energy through the bond. He was about to lean down and share his breath with his Guide, when someone touched his shoulder. He must have blocked out his other senses, because when he turned, he found both Blair's hiking friend, and a park ranger crouching behind him. He hadn't heard them approach.

"He's not breathing," Jim explained.

The ranger, a balding man who appeared to be in his mid-fifties, drew closer to Blair. Jim made room for him, watching as the man checked for a pulse at his partner's neck, and then proceeded to lean forward to listen for breath.

"He is breathing. It's shallow but he's breathing."

Jim listened carefully, filtering out the respiration of everyone else. Yes, Blair's could be heard. He must have started again after Jim sent him that last jolt through the link. The detective nodded, placing one of his hands on Blair's forehead, more as a comfort to himself than to his unconscious partner.

"There's a helicopter on the way," Alex said. "It should be here soon."

Jim spared a glance at the young man, noting his haggard appearance. He'd have to thank him when this was all over, but now all his thoughts were centered on Blair.

"We need to prepare him for transport," the ranger told Jim. "You're?"

"Detective Jim Ellison from the Cascade PD. He's my partner. When I heard about the possibility of a quake..." Jim's voice trailed.

The man nodded and introduced himself as Frank Johnson. "We're going to do our best here, Detective," he said.

"I know."

"It's better that he's out," the ranger said. "This next part is going to be really unpleasant."

Ellison picked up the distant sound of the helicopter; it would be arriving soon. They were one step closer to getting Blair the medical attention he desperately needed. Now Jim had to focus his attention on Frank's instructions. Every second could make a difference, and he resolved not to waste one.

After examining Blair's wound and noting the branch was still connected, though precariously, to the trunk, the ranger withdrew a hunting knife from the pack. He asked Jim to gently lift Blair's back so he could cut the branch free.

"What about a possible back injury from the fall?" Jim asked. "Won't moving him like that be a risk?"

Johnson frowned. "We don't have a choice. He's got to be cut lose or we can't get him out of here."

It made sense, but Jim didn't like it. Still, he and Alex complied. Frank had just started severing the branch as close to Blair's back as possible, when their charge came violently awake. The young man moaned and thrashed his arms. No doubt the pain had been strong enough to rouse him. His movement impeded their progress.

"Hold him!" Frank exclaimed, pausing for a moment.

Jim allowed the two of them to balance Blair's back above the debris, while he moved into a position that gave him access to the younger man's upper body. Carefully, he placed one knee behind Blair's upper back, and held Blair's shoulders and head against his own chest. He grasped both of his arms, holding them in his own. "It's okay, Chief. We're just trying to help you. Try not to move."

Blair's struggles subsided, but he remained conscious. Frank resumed his task with Alex aiding him. Each stroke of the knife against the bark sent a spasm through Blair. Jim could feel each of them as distinctly as if they had been his own. Occasionally, Sandburg would moan.

"Easy, Chief. It'll be over soon. We're going to get you to a hospital. You'll be just fine," Jim soothed.

Another moan. Blair's head pressed back against his chest. One hand gripped Jim's arm with more strength than he'd thought possible.

'The pain must be excruciating,' Jim thought. 'If only... no, not if. I can. I can take his pain.' In his mind, he called through the link, 'Blair, let go of your pain. Send it through the link.'

The response came verbally. "No." The word seemed pitched for his ears alone.

Jim repeated his offer. 'You have to let it go, Blair. Please, let me help you.'

This time everyone could hear Blair's reply. "No."

Frank looked at Sandburg with concern. "It's okay, kid. We're almost done. Just hang on."

Inwardly, Jim cursed his partner's stubbornness before trying to convince him again. 'Sandburg, please. You have to let me help you.'

The head beneath Jim's chin rolled from side to side. No. Just then, the branch snapped, causing Blair to cry out in pain. Jim winced in sympathy, and held the younger man tighter, hoping to prevent him from moving and causing further injury. "It's okay, Chief. It's okay."

Frank nodded at Jim. "We've got it. Just hold him there. The helicopter..." His voice trailed as the rhythmic thumping sound heralded its approach. "It's here and none too soon."

"Thank goodness," Alex mumbled, wiping his brow with the back of his hand.

Jim's gaze encompassed both men. "And thank you," he said.

They both just nodded in response. Their work wasn't done, but a sense of renewed hope had found its way to all of them. It gave them the energy to complete their task.

Once the stretcher came within reach, Frank unhooked it from the wire attaching it to the helicopter. He and Alex carried it over to the injured man. Hastily, they padded Blair's back with a makeshift bandage for transport. With Jim still supporting Blair's upper body, Frank and Alex helped to ease the young man into the stretcher, trying to make the move as gentle as possible.

Frank secured Blair to the stretcher, while Jim leaned over and spoke quietly to him. "Don't worry, Chief. You're going to be fine," Jim said. He added through the link, 'I'll be with you all the way.'

Blue eyes gazed up at the detective with absolute trust. The reply sounded distant, but understandable. 'I know. Just don't blame yourself, man. There's nothing more you could have done.'

Jim didn't like his use of the past tense, not at all. 'We've come this far. You can't give up on me.'

Blair didn't respond, and there wasn't time to wait for an answer from him. The three of them carried the stretcher beneath the hovering helicopter. Frank attached it and gave the pilot the thumbs up. Jim managed to brush Blair's hand with his own before he was pulled out of reach and carried above his rescuers to begin the journey to the nearest hospital.

"They'll take him to Brighton General," Frank announced. "I can get the three of us there in a couple hours in my truck. There's a dirt road used for emergencies leading up from the station."

"Lead the way," Jim said.

****

Two hours turned to four and a half. The road was littered with fallen debris and had to be cleared periodically. As they entered the small town, signs of the quake were immediately apparent. Some buildings had weathered the tremor better than others, but most had experienced some damage.

By the time they reached the hospital, most of the day had passed. Though Jim had constantly monitored Blair's condition during the trip, his anxiety about being separated from his Guide and unaware of his prognosis had grown exponentially. All he knew was Blair still lived.

Once through the sliding doors, Jim cornered the first nurse he saw and asked about his partner. She left the three of them standing near the emergency entrance for a few minutes. When she reappeared, another woman followed in her wake.

"I understand you are inquiring about Mr. Sandburg?" the second woman asked. She had shoulder-length dark hair and was almost as tall as Jim.

"Yes," Jim replied. "I'm Detective Ellison of the Cascade PD. Blair Sandburg is my partner."

The woman reached her hand toward him. He took it as she introduced herself. "Eve Laing. I'm a resident. I was one of several doctors working on your partner when he was brought in. He's in surgery now. We'll know more soon."

"Is there anything you can tell me?"

She took a deep breath. "Well, he had some extensive internal injuries that need repairing. As far as I know, there were no indications of spinal distress, but even if he survives the surgery, it'll be a while before we know anything definite. I wish I could tell you more." She nodded at the seating area to the right. "You are welcome to wait over there. I'll be sure to have someone brief you once he's out of the OR."

Jim thanked her and walked over to the crowded waiting room. Both Alex and Frank joined him. Jim tried to use his enhanced hearing to locate the operating room to which Blair had been taken. Unfortunately, his ability to concentrate was impaired by the level of his anxiety and sheer exhaustion. The myriad voices and sounds in the hospital, even one this small, were beyond count. No doubt the natural disaster had kept this facility on its toes all day, and there were still more people coming in. All Jim could do was sense the beating heart through the link.

He must have zoned-out, because when he next became aware of his surroundings, Frank was kneeling in front of him shaking his shoulder. "Detective, are you okay?"

Jim blinked and shook himself out of his reverie. "Fine, yes. I'm sorry."

"You were so still there for almost an hour. I got kind of worried."

"It's been an hour?"

"Just about."

Jim looked around the waiting room. There were other people present, but no sign of Alex. "Where's the kid?"

"I sent him to get checked out. He said his head was pounding."

Just then, Ellison remembered Simon's request to remain informed. By now the captain would be fuming and out of his mind with worry. He had to make a phone call to the department and inform him of the situation. "I have to call the station," he announced. "Let them know."

Frank stood and stepped back. "Good idea. There's a pay phone down the hall to the right. I used it to call my wife."

Jim stood, and his body immediately rebelled. A wave of dizziness overcame him. He found himself falling into darkness. Frank's voice followed him. "I need help over here!"

When Jim opened his eyes, he was surprised to find himself standing on the street that crossed the dam. It was the same dam Sandburg had almost fallen from in his mind when the link had injured him. It was the place where he'd lost a young girl to Golden. And Jim wasn't alone. Blair leaned against the railing from the street-side. Ellison crossed the distance to him.

'Jim?' Sandburg sounded confused. 'What are you doing here, man?'

'I--uh--I'm keeping a promise. I told you I wouldn't leave you alone.' Jim thought it best not to tell his friend he was sprawled on the waiting room floor.

'You just don't know when to quit, do you?'

'Not where you're concerned.'

A smile touched Blair's lips as he gazed up at Jim. Ellison thought he'd never see him smile again, but his relief was short lived. This wasn't over. He knew Blair's condition was serious. The fact they both stood on the dam, Sandburg's own space between worlds, mirrored the gravity of the situation. Ellison listened through the thread that bound him to his Guide for the heartbeat of the younger man. It was erratic. At the same moment Blair placed a hand on his own chest. 'You can hear it can't you?'

'I can,' Jim admitted.

'Then you'll know before I do. That's kinda weird, man.'

Jim knew the answer, but he had to ask, in case he'd misunderstood. God, he hoped he'd misunderstood. 'Know what, Chief?'

'When it happens,' Blair's voice had dropped to a whisper.

'Blair, you're going to be...'

'Fine?' Blair shook his head. 'I'm sorry, man, but I don't think so. I'm glad you're with me though. I'm glad I'm not alone.'

Jim reached for Blair's shoulder, as if somehow the contact would keep the younger man alive. He didn't know what to say. There were no words to express his despair. There had to be something he could do.

They stood in silence for a few moments before Jim felt a shudder pass through his Guide's body, followed shortly by a gasp as his heart faltered. 'Maybe... maybe you won't know... first,' Sandburg managed to say before he slid to the ground, his back against the concrete support.

'Oh, no.' Ellison muttered, as he went down beside him. 'Blair?' Like holding Blair's lifeless body in the Pacific, this scene burned itself into the Sentinel's memory with unforgiving clarity. The setting sun played across the young man's features turning them to gold. A slight wind ruffled his hair, sending a strand across his face. Blair blinked, and Jim brushed it away with his free hand, the one that wasn't gripping his Guide's shoulder. 'Chief,' the word came before the tears.

''s okay, Jim,' Blair said, just before he closed his eyes.

Jim pulled Blair close, sobbing. The body he held in his arms was lifeless. No heartbeat thrummed within the chest that was pressed against his own.

****

Ellison came awake suddenly, violently. He was back at the hospital in an examining room. Dr. Laing stood over him shining a penlight in one of his eyes.

"Easy, easy, Detective. You took a nasty spill, and you're dehydrated, but you're going to be fine."

"Blair?"

"Mr. Sandburg is still in surgery. There's been no word."

"He's dead," Jim announced.

She shook her head. "As I said, there's been no word. I know you're concerned about him, but..."

Jim tried to sit up. The tug he felt on his wrist caught his attention. He'd been connected to an IV bag, but that wasn't going to stop him. Just as he reached for the offending needle, a gentle hand caught his.

"Mr. Ellison, you need rest. I think it'd be best if you let us do our job," she said. "Please, Mr. Ellison."

"You don't understand..." Jim began.

"I do," she interrupted him, eyes watering. "I lost my younger brother last year. He suffered a fall while rock climbing. I understand. Your friend's still alive. He has a chance, and if you want to be well enough to see him when he comes out of surgery, you'll rest now."

Jim didn't have the strength to argue with her. He knew Blair was dead. All he could do was spare a few sympathetic words. "I'm sorry about you're brother." In his mind, he added, 'I know how you feel, too.'

"Thanks," she replied.

A knock sounded at the door interrupting any further discussion. Dr. Laing pulled open the door and exchanged a few words with an orderly. Jim didn't bother listening to them; all this thoughts were consumed by his devastating loss. How could this have happened? It was supposed to be a simple hiking trip. His partner and best friend had managed to be at the worst place at the wrong time. If only he could have reached Blair sooner. If only he had found some reason to ask him not to go in the first place.

A hand on his arm brought him back to the present. "There's a Captain Banks here to see you. Would you like to talk to him now?" Dr. Laing asked.

"Yes, that's fine."

She told the orderly to bring him in. In less than a minute, Simon was peering in the half open door. Dr. Laing excused herself after a short introduction and left the two of them alone.

"How are you doing, Jim?" Simon asked.

Without hesitation, Jim shared his raging pain with the captain. "Blair's dead."

Simon's brow furrowed. "I didn't know. I was told he was still in surgery." The captain placed a hand on his shoulder. "Jim, I'm sorry."

Jim closed his eyes for a moment, fighting back the tears that threatened. When he opened them, he noticed Simon had pulled a chair over and was now sitting beside him. He hadn't removed his hand from its place on Jim's shoulder. "I was with him, in my head. The link... it allowed me to know..." Jim took a deep breath, before continuing, "...to know when he died."

Banks nodded in understanding.

"How did you know where to find us?" Jim realized what he said just after he'd said it. It would be a long time before he could come to grips with Sandburg's death. A very long time.

"I knew something was up when you didn't call. I made some inquiries with the local authorities. They told me Sandburg had been brought to this hospital. I got here as soon as I could."

Neither man seemed to know what to say next. They sat in companionable silence until another knock sounded at the door. It was Dr. Laing.

"Gentlemen, I just thought you'd like to know Mr. Sandburg is out of surgery. He's being transferred to our ICU. You might not be able to see him for a while, but someone will come in and brief you on his condition."

"What?" Jim and Simon asked at the same time.

The doctor's shot them a curious glance, as she repeated herself. "I wish there was more I could tell you now, but at least you know he's made it through the surgery."

"When did you get this information?" Jim asked.

"Just now," she replied. "If you'll excuse me, I have some patients to check on." She left the two alone again.

"Jim, what's going on? I thought you said..."

Jim lifted a hand to quiet the captain, as he searched for Sandburg through the link. Yes, there it was, an unmistakable sign of life he'd overlooked while plummeting into his own despair, his own black hole. He was so sure he'd lost Blair that he didn't even bother to search for him through the link. The scene played out on the dam had crushed all his hope, and now he'd found it again. 'You've got to hang on, Chief. I can't go through this a third time.'

"Jim? Jim!" The captain's voice was insistent.

"It's okay, Simon," Jim replied with a smile. "He's alive."

Banks sighed. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes.

"You weren't crying, were you?" Jim asked.

"If you say anything to the kid, I promise I'll deny it." Simon smiled, replacing his glasses.

"Point taken. Do you think you could try to find out more about his condition, sir?"

Simon stood. "Are you going to be okay?"

"I will as soon as I know he'll survive this."

****

Simon returned to Jim's side in a matter of minutes, followed by a doctor who introduced himself as Josh Manning, a distinguished looking man with a graying beard and kind brown eyes. He seemed to be in his early fifties. "Your partner is fortunate, Detective.

He's astounded our entire staff."

"How'd he come through the operation?" Jim asked.

"It was touch and go for a while. In fact, we lost him for a couple of minutes, but were able to revive him. We had to remove one kidney, but the other is functioning, and we found little damage to any other organs that wasn't reparable. Right now we are concerned with an infection he's developed. We're treating him with aggressive doses of antibiotics."

"What are his chances?"

"It's still difficult to say, but we can be hopeful. He is strong enough to have come this far, and I have no reason to believe he's ready to give up just yet."

Jim had a reason to believe that, especially after what he'd seen on the dam. He had to reach Blair and let him know he had a fighting chance. "When can I see him?"

"I'll send someone to get you once he's settled, but you need to take it easy, too, Detective Ellison. Eve tells me you're suffering from exhaustion and dehydration. We won't ask you to stay overnight, but it's advisable you at least stay with us for the next few hours."

Jim agreed.

****

In less than an hour, Jim was sitting at Blair's side in intensive care. Monitoring devices kept the staff apprised of the young man's condition, but Jim could sense it through the bond. Weakened by blood loss and a raging fever, his condition was critical. Jim knew the skillful surgeons and doctors attending him had at least earned him a chance, as slim as it might be. Now, all Jim had to do was convince Blair not to give up.

He touched Blair's arm, hoping the physical contact would somehow strengthen the tie between Sentinel and Guide. Jim took a deep breath and prepared himself for a little experiment. He'd decided to attempt a zone-out, deep enough to reach the young man. The two times he'd met Blair on the dam, he'd been unconscious, and now he needed to reach him while awake. 'This has to work,' Jim thought to himself. 'If it does, Blair will have a hell of a time writing about it.' He closed his eyes.

After what seemed like an eternity, he found himself on the dam. The sun had gone down entirely, but Blair hadn't moved from where he'd fallen. His eyes were closed. Jim could see his breath in the cold night air. Ellison knelt at his side, and touched his shoulder. 'Chief, it's me. Wake up,' he said, softly.

Blair's eyelids fluttered open. 'Hey, Jim.'

'Hey, you really gave me a scare, but you're going to be okay now. The doctors are saying you've come through the surgery really well.'

'I'm cold.'

Jim removed his jacket and draped Blair with it, tucking it under his chin. He knew the gesture was a symbolic one, but he had to do something. 'How's that?'

'Better. What about you?'

'I'm fine, Chief. Just stay with me.'

Blair closed his eyes. The link still sang with life, and though Jim was concerned, he couldn't help but be a bit annoyed.

'Sandburg,' Jim called, shaking him. 'What did I just say?'

''Mmm, that your fine.'

Jim smiled despite the seriousness of the situation. 'No, after that.'

'This a quiz, man? I'm too tired for quizzes.'

'I know you're tired, Blair, but please open your eyes.'

Blair sank a bit farther down the wall, snuggling into the jacket for warmth. 'Why?' he muttered.

'Sandburg, this isn't funny. This is serious. You need to help me out here.'

The younger man opened his eyes, trying to focus on his partner. 'Help you with what?'

Their conversation had deteriorated rapidly. Blair seemed to be drifting beyond the realm of coherent thought. Jim had to bring him back. He softened his voice and tried again. 'Blair, you need to listen to me,' he began his appeal, hoping he'd reach the part of his Guide still capable of reason. 'You're experiencing something much like a zone-out. You are concentrating on your weakness, your pain, and you're blocking out everything else. In order to help yourself, you need to stay focused. You need to stay alert to fight this. Do you understand me, Chief?"

Blair blinked and nodded. Jim could see by the look in his eyes that he'd reached his partner with words surprisingly similar to those Blair would have used for him. But understanding was only half the battle. They still had a long way to go. 'Jim?'

'Yeah, buddy.'

'Talk to me.'

The request took Jim by surprise. 'About what?'

'Anything. I just need to know you're here.'

Jim readied himself for the long night ahead. He sat down, sliding over until he was beside his friend. Blair leaned against him, and Jim began, "You know speaking of talking, that was the first thing I noticed about you when we met. You just went on and on. I couldn't believe anyone could say so much without taking a breath. I regret losing my temper with you, but when you pushed me to the ground... the truck. I mean, I trusted you from that point on..."

****

Simon convinced the doctors to let Jim stay with Sandburg much longer than they had originally intended. When Dr. Manning finally asked Simon to take Jim to a local motel for some rest, the captain had no choice but to comply.

It took more than just a bit of coaxing to pull Jim from his self-induced zone-out, but Simon was finally able to get through to him. Then, it took no small feat to convince him to leave Blair's side. In the end, Simon assured the Sentinel that he'd likely be able to monitor the younger man in his sleep. On the verge of collapse, Jim agreed.

"Have Alex and Frank gone home?" Jim asked, as Simon led him through the cool night air to his car.

"Alex's fiancé arrived a couple of hours ago. They're staying at the same motel I booked for us tonight. Frank went home to his wife, but has asked me to keep him apprised."

"He's a good man," Jim mumbled. "They both are."

"Can you tell how Blair's doing?" the captain asked.

"Better I think. It's hard to tell." Jim climbed into the car.

Simon walked around to the driver's side after shutting the passenger door. By the time he'd started the engine, Jim was already asleep.

****

Throughout the night, Jim Ellison kept a vigil at his partner's side. The link allowed him, even in sleep, to be with Blair. It was the only reason he had agreed to leave the hospital. Now, sitting on the dam beside his Guide, he continued to talk to Sandburg as the sun rose behind them. He rambled on about the cases they'd worked on and even listed a couple of new house rules. All the while Blair interjected only occasionally. But as the darkness fled, he seemed more responsive.

'How are you doing, Chief?'

'Better,' Blair replied. 'Still cold though.'

'The sun will be up soon.' Jim knew the phantom orb couldn't provide any warmth, but it seemed like a natural enough statement.

'I know,' Blair replied. 'Jim?'

'Yeah?'

'You're better than a book on tape, man.'

'Thanks, I guess.'

'No, really. I mean, it means a lot to me that you'd do this. You know, stay here and talk to me.'

'What are friends for?' Jim laughed, feeling more lighthearted than he had in hours. 'I can't think of a better way to spend my time, than sitting on this dam in your mind and chattering away.'

Blair shifted slightly, in an effort to get more comfortable. 'You don't chatter. I chatter. You tell stories.'

'Well, are you ready for another one?' Jim glanced at the young man beside him.

'Sure.'

****

Early the next morning, Simon woke Jim and they returned to the hospital. Dr. Manning met with them in the hallway outside the intensive care unit.

"Your friend is a very lucky young man," he told Jim. "His fever is down, and his vital signs have stabilized. It's still too soon to know for certain, but his chances have improved. There's no doubt about that. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to make my rounds."

Jim and Simon thanked Dr. Manning and entered Blair's room when he left. Jim's enhanced senses picked up the heat radiating from his partner's body, but recognized his temperature had indeed fallen. He sat down in the chair he'd used the night before while Simon stood silently behind him.

"I think he's going to make it, but I want to stay with him as long as I can," Jim announced, looking over his shoulder at Simon. "If you need to get back to Cascade, I'll be fine here."

"I'm staying too, Jim, at least for the time being."

"Thanks, sir."

****

It was another full day before Blair began to stir. Alex, his fiancé and Frank had been to visit and left. Simon was eating in the cafeteria. Only Jim was present to witness Sandburg's return to the waking world. One moment, they'd been talking on the dam, and the next Blair was staring at Jim from the bed.

"Jim." The voice was weak but insistent. "Hey, Jim."

The Sentinel refocused his vision, shuddering at the sudden return from oblivion.

"You with me?" Blair asked.

Jim beamed. "Chief, welcome back to the real world."

"The real world hurts, man," he whispered.

Ellison patted his friend's arm. "I know it does. Just hang on and I'll have someone come in and check you out." Jim stood, and turned toward the door.

"Jim?"

"What is it?"

"Thanks."

Ellison smiled warmly, and then went for a doctor.

Once he'd left, Blair began to recount all he'd endured in the last couple of days. He was surprised to be alive, but not so surprised at the lengths his friend had gone to keep him that way. Jim had even asked Blair to share his pain with him. Knowing the pain of his injury would likely be multiplied by sentinel senses, he'd refused. At that point, he was sure he'd die, and what good would it do to have Jim just prolong the inevitable and suffer for it.

When Jim had come to him on the dam, his relief at having his friend with him at the end overwhelmed him. Jim had crossed over a boundary to be with his Guide, and though Blair hated to leave him, he didn't think he had a choice.

When his heart finally faltered, and he'd fallen back against the wall, Jim had gone down with him. He'd never seen Ellison so distraught, other than the time Danny Cho had been shot in front of him. His fear of dying had been replaced by a fear for Jim's well-being. Who would be his back-up? Would he fall apart like he had with Danny? His usually stoic friend had broken down, and he hated to be the cause of such pain. It saddened him to know his last sight would be of Jim crying.

But Blair had survived.

He managed to annoy Jim during a more incoherent stage of recovery, but they'd come through that too, with Jim doing most of the talking. It was no small comfort. And now, though the pain was fierce, Blair's elation at being alive gave him the strength to endure it.

****

A week and a half passed before they transferred Blair to a hospital in Cascade. It was much longer before he was deemed fit to be released. Even then, he had considerable trouble getting around. He felt as though his insides had been rearranged and, to a certain extent, they had.

His first day back at the loft was a Monday. Jim had taken the day off to bring him home and settle him in. A protective hand placed on his back as they climbed the stairs assured him the detective would be in his mothering mode all day. Blair rolled his eyes at the thought, but realized deep down it didn't really bother him.

Once inside, Jim helped Blair off with his jacket and guided him over to the couch, where he propped him on some pillows.

"Are you hungry?"

Blair shook his head. "Not really."

"We can eat later." Jim turned toward the stairs and called over his shoulder. "I'll be right back."

Soon, the Sentinel bounded down the stairs with a box in his hands. He carefully set it on the coffee table within arms reach.

"What's that?"

Jim frowned, reaching in the box and retrieving a piece of a sculpture Blair had placed on a shelf in the living room. "Some of your things were damaged in the quake. I put them all in here so we could go through them and see if we can salvage any."

The younger man couldn't stop the tears from flooding his eyes. The gesture, though unremarkable, had touched him. He couldn't believe he'd almost left Jim alone to sort through all of his stuff. He couldn't believe he'd almost died.

Jim reached for his shoulder. "Hey Chief, are you okay?"

Blair rubbed his hands over his eyes. "Yeah, man. It's just..."

"Just what?"

"I don't know." Blair couldn't bring himself to talk about their problems with the failed connection just yet, and he especially didn't want to talk about his feelings of guilt for severing the bond and having to repair it with the last bit of strength he had.

He never would have lived through the experience if Jim hadn't been there. How could he even begin to express that kind of gratitude? His thoughts were so scrambled he couldn't even begin to put them in words. He was surprised when Jim spoke.

"I do. I know," Jim said, softly.

Though the link was now inactive, Blair saw complete understanding mirrored in Jim's eyes. Yes, he did know and that was a beginning.

THE END