See Part One for disclaimers.

Partners
Part Two
by Robin from Florida

Jim was sitting at his desk looking at the belt. Banks hung up his phone and bellowed for Jim. Jim left the belt and brought his coffee cup with him. "Close the door." He complied and sat in the chair in front of his captain. "Jim, the woman in the photo?"

Jim nodded. "Wainwright," he helped.

"There are rumors that she's a cop."

Ellison almost dropped the coffee he was holding. "Jesus, that's what that is." He got up, went to his desk, and retrieved the belt.

"Jim, there's no reason to get so excited, it's only a rumor. I have our guys checking it out." He yelled through the door. Ellison re-entered and closed the door.

"Don't bother. She is a cop. Look." He unclipped his shield, unbuckled his belt, and slid it out of the loops. Ignoring the surprised look on Simon's face. He placed both belts across his captain's desk. Aligning them so that the identical vertical grooves lined up. He took his shield and clipped it on her belt.

Simon just shook his head. "Is she still at the loft?"

Ellison's enthusiasm quickly faded. "With Sandburg." He turned to leave.

"I'm coming with you. She'll have to be put in protective custody."

"No, Simon," he stopped. "Sir, you have to find out what is going on. Who is she? Is she still in danger? From who? Why?..."

Simon put his hands up to stop him. "All right. All right. Just call me when you get there so I know everything is under control."

"Yes Sir."

That kid is a magnet for trouble. Hurry, Ellison. The captain shook himself trying to push away a sense of dread that had rapidly appeared.

***

An hour later in his clunker, she was feeling really ill. "Blair we have to stop somewhere I feel sick. Is there a motel somewhere?"

" I think so, a few miles ahead."

"Good." Feeling herself start to fade, she grabbed Blair's arm. "Don't use our names." Blackness took her.

***

Jim entered the loft with his gun drawn even though he knew the loft was empty. There were no heartbeats. He shook the thought off as he entered the loft. His gun lowered as his mouth opened at the total devastation he found. The living room was almost untouched however the kitchen area was a mess the table and chairs had be thrown against the wall with such force that two of the chairs were nothing but kindling. The kitchen cabinets were open and the contents scattered on the floor as in a fit of rage. As he cautiously entered Blair's room it got worse. The mattress had been stabbed to death, the sheets shredded. The pillows were reduced to small piles of feathers

The phone rang making him look away from the disaster which was Blair's room.

"Ellison"

"Oh great Jim, I caught you..."

"Where the hell are you?" Ellison interrupted angrily.

Sandburg was startled by the tone of Jim's voice. "Why? What's wrong?"

"Blair, the loft's a mess are you okay. Are you safe?"

"Yes, we both are."

"Why aren't you here?" The detective demanded an explanation even though he was very grateful Blair and the woman hadn't been there when the loft had been trashed.

"When I told Crystal you were a cop she freaked. She wouldn't stay in the loft. She could barely stand so I offered to go with her. I figured she might still need our help." Ellison smiled at the thought of Blair's chivalry.

"Sandburg, where are you?" Jim asked, calming a bit.

"In a hotel called the Sea Side View. It's about an hour west on I92."

"Stay there. I'll come get you. Don't let anyone in. You got that?" Ellison barked into the phone.

"Sure Jim. Should I be worried?" He was almost afraid of the answer.

"No," Jim soothed. "I just don't like you being alone with a..." He searched for a word that wouldn't upset his friend. "Suspect. I know your track record with women. I'm leaving now. Okay?"

"Yeah. See ya soon."

Ellison made a call to Simon then got some bullets and the extra gun he kept in his bedroom.

***

She woke with a start to find Blair watching her.

"Did you call?" She was unable to think of his name, "Him?"

"Yes. He was at the loft. Someone trashed the place. Crystal, who was it?"

"Her eyes closed and she whispered, "Tony." She started to cry and curled into the fetal position, knowing the next question.

"Crystal, who is Tony."

"Stop calling me that!" She screamed. "Crystal is a slut. She should have died in the water. You should have let her die in the water. You should have let her die...me die," she sobbed.

The guide tried to comfort her but she pulled away from his touch and cried harder.

***

It had started to rain again as Ellison flipped on his wipers. His pocket rang.

"Ellison."

"Jim, we've got a problem." Ellison could tell Simon was in a car using his cell phone. He could hear the siren light going by the clicking noise it made. He knew he wasn't going to like it and that Blair was going to be in the middle of whatever it was. He increased his speed, unable to put his siren on yet.

"What is it, Simon?"

"Jim you were right. She is a police officer her name is Lieutenant Josephine Adams. Vice Squad. She's been undercover about five weeks. She was about to blow the case when she disappeared. Her department absolutely went ballistic when Bobby B turned up dead. They want her for questioning."

"I think a lot of people want her right now."

"There's more." Ellison closed his eyes briefly, waiting for the other shoe to fall.

"She has a partner. He's missing as well. His name is Anthony Rivers."

Rivers, he thought then remembered the scared look, the BAND AIDS. "Tony Rivers? Ah. Jesus. Simon."

"What? Do you know him?"

"I'll fill you in later Captain I gotta go." He slammed the phone shut and tossed it on the seat. Turning on the siren, he stepped on the gas.

***

"How long have I been here?"

"Couple of hours."

She carefully sat up. There was a knock on the door, which made them both freeze. Blair waited for Ellison's voice. There was nothing. She quietly slipped her feet into her shoes. The knock came again this time louder.

"Blair," she whispered, wanting him to follow her as she headed for the sliding glass doors that opened onto the sea view. They were half way down the path that lead to the beach when they heard a muffled gun shot and the door being thrown open.

'It started with water, it'll end with water' she thought as she tripped down the stairs that led onto the sand.

Blair caught her. "Come on, Jim will be here any minute." I hope. Jim please be here any minute, he prayed.

She saw the frightened look on the young man's face. Oh god. Blair. He doesn't deserve to be in the middle of this. He's just an observer. An anthropologist for crying out loud. Her thoughts were halted when a shot threw up the dirt beside them and she heard a man bellow. "Stop. Joey." She stopped in her tracks knowing what she had to do, knowing she had to protect the civilian next to her. "Stay behind me, Blair."

Sandburg would have thought that was funny if he weren't so scared. This was not his Sentinel, this was a woman they fished out of the bay half dead last night.

"Tony?" She whispered with such sadness that he had to peek over her shoulder to see this person. He was taken aback when he saw the uniform. 'A cop?'

"You look like shit, Tony." The sadness was gone from her voice.

"You don't look so hot yourself."

Tony noticed the man behind her. She was shielding him.

"I bet that was your fault." Blair mumbled under his breath. She wanted to say the same thing but was trying to hold her growing anger.

Tony hearing the remark, spoke bitterly. "Who's the hippie?"

Trying to draw attention away from Blair, she ignored the question. "Was it you, Tony? Was it you who told Bobby I was a cop?" Her voice was getting louder and louder as her rage built. Blair put a steadying hand on her arm, trying to calm her down. He knew that it probably was not a good idea to piss off the guy holding the very big gun in his shaking hands. She took his unspoken advice and calmed her voice. "Why, Tony? Please tell me why? You have to explain it to me. I want to understand. I want to understand. Why?"

Tony saw her reaction to the man's touch, which only made him dislike this guy more.

She took a step forward as he approached them. She wanted to keep some distance between the civilian and the man that was her partner. She also wanted to get close so she could read him, like she had done before. Or had she? How could she have read him right if she didn't see this coming? They had been partners for a long time. Friends for even longer. Her eyes started to tear but she let her anger dry them.

***

Ellison was through the room in an instant, his gun drawn. He went out the back door and scanned the area. They were down by the beach, the guy's back directly in front of him. He couldn't see what he was carrying and couldn't see either Sandburg or Adams. He started to move to his left keeping his gun trained on the man.

***

"Talk to me, Tony. Tell me what happened."

"I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself. I couldn't stop." His voice was barely a whisper. He stopped halfway down the stairs and sat on the top step.

***

Ellison was using his hearing to monitor the scene, not taking his gun off the armed man. He had to adjust his hearing when Simon and Brown showed up. "What's going on, Jim. Where's Blair?" Simon whispered.

"He's all right. He's behind her. Just like I taught him." Ellison thought that they must look like this, when he tried to keep his guide from harm. Finally he listens. He was starting to admire the woman who was obviously trying to protect his partner.

***

"You couldn't stop what? Talk to me, partner." She leaned over to make eye contact but her side reminded her that she shouldn't be bending in the middle and that squatting was out of the question. She wrapped her arm around the protesting ribs.

Partner? Oh great. Jim please get here soon. Please. Blair prayed.

Studying her partner, she thought, he looks like a walking skeleton. How much weight has he lost? Why? He's shaking like a leaf. No, a junkie. Anger mixed with shock flooded her voice at the realization. "Drugs?"

He dropped his head and simply nodded unable to look at his friend.

"How long?" The anger seeped into her voice.

He just shrugged. "I'm sorry, Joey."

Blair moved up behind her and touched her arm, hoping it would calm her again. It didn't. She let go of her ribs and swung her arm around and behind her to make sure Blair stayed behind her.

"You sold me out for drugs. You killed people for drugs." Her anger showed plainly.

He noticed the small man behind his partner. She's protecting that hippie from me? From me!

"No, Joey. I wanted him to stop hurting you. He kept hurting you. I just wanted him to stop."

"You threw me in the water, Tony," she screamed at him.

"I thought you were dead, Joey. I thought you were dead. Joey?"

The use of her nickname made whatever was left of her self control, completely disappear. "Then why the bullet? Tony. Why'd you shoot me?"

***

"Is she crazy?" Brown questioned as they watched her shrug off Blair's hand and walked over to Tony.

"No she's pissed," Ellison answered, listening to the conversation.

***

She took the gun out of her partner's hands. "Why'd you shoot me?" She could now see him clearly. He looked pitiful. Her anger changed to disgust. She couldn't look at him any longer. Suddenly very tired and totally numb, she turned to Blair.

***

Ellison called out to his friend. "Sandburg! Over here."

Tony's head swung in the direction of the voice and saw the police coming towards him. He panicked. His hand grasped his backup gun at his ankle and aimed it at Blair, the man who had calmed his partner. The one his partner had turned to. The man who brought the police, the man his partner was trying to protect. Like she used to do for him.

She saw Blair's eyes grow large with fright. She knew she couldn't get around and fire fast enough, even if she could shoot her partner. But she wasn't going to let him hurt anyone else. So she did the only thing she could do to protect Blair. She dropped the gun and dove at Sandburg. She crashed into him, as the bullet ripped through her left shoulder blade. The force of the impact sent them to the ground.

"SANDBURG!" Ellison dropped the man with one shot.

Blair put his arms around her to slide her to the side so he could get up. His hand felt something wet and warm and he knew what it was. He sat up and pulled her onto his lap, with her damaged shoulder close to him. As panic set in Jim was there. "Sandburg, are you all right. Did he get you?"

Blair didn't take his eyes off the still form in his arms. He shook his head. "She...." She started to stir. Her eyes flickered open.

She saw a frightened Blair looking at her. She looked over at his partner and saw the concern in Jim's eyes as he looked at his friend. I looked that way once... her eyes filled with tears 'that's gone...forever.' She moved as she tried to catch her breath which was becoming harder and harder to do, then moaned softly. Blair tightened his grip. His eyes started to fill with tears. His mouth moved to say "Why" but no sound came out.

She saw his pain and had to speak. She moved her hand to touch his face but it fell away at the strain. "I...was...pro..." Her hand found Ellison's knee and gave it a squeeze. "protecting...his........partner..." Her numb hand slid off his knee. "from...mine." She looked at Ellison no longer able to stand the pain she saw in Blair's eyes. "from.... my best friend...I'm...so...sorry." She slipped into blackness.

"NO!" Blair screamed, tightening his grip on the limp body in his arms, pulling her to his chest.

Ellison checked for a pulse and put his hands on Blair's shoulders. "Blair, it's all right, she's still with us." He tried to get his arms under her but Blair was holding too tight. "Blair." Jim put his hand on his friend's chin and moved it to look at him. "Chief, let me have her. We're going to help her." He gave him a quick smile then took her in his arms and started up the hill. Blair was right behind him.

***

Ellison firmly grasped his partner's arm to stop him from getting into the ambulance. From the woman's labored breathing he didn't think she would survive the ride to the hospital. He wasn't going to leave Blair alone with her nor was he going to get in the way of the EMTs as they started their desperate fight for the woman's life.

***

Blair sat quietly in the waiting room, his head resting back against the wall. His eyes closed against the tears that threatened.

Ellison closed his cell phone and looked with concern at his partner. "Chief?" He placed his hand gently on his shoulder to get his attention. "Come on, buddy, let's go." Sandburg's eyes shot open and glared at his partner. Before he could register his opposition. Jim tightened his grip to calm his friend. "No Chief. Just to the bathroom to clean you up. We're not going anywhere." He gave him a quick smile and helped him to his feet. They got about half way to the bathroom when Blair looked down at his hands and saw her blood still on them. Jim sensed his friend's heartbeat and breathing increase and knew Blair was going to be sick. Ellison didn't hurry to catch up to his friend as he bolted for a stall, giving him privacy during an embarrassing moment.

After hearing the toilet flush he quietly pushed open the bathroom door. He was surprised to see his friend still in the stall, slumped on the floor. "Come on, buddy, you can't stay there." He reached down and pulled his elbow up, then guided him to the row of sinks. "Blair take this off." Ellison helped Blair remove his soiled jacket and placed it over the garbage can careful to hide the blood stains. He noticed Blair's hands shaking so badly he couldn't get the water on. "Here, Chief, let me help." Ellison held his friend's hands under the warm water, gently removing the last of the woman's blood. The comforting touch of the Sentinel's hands was too much, and his tears finally escaped. Jim gently pulled him into an embrace and held him. Blair gradually returned the embrace. The sobbing slowly subsided and the young man shuddered in his arms. Ellison slipped out of his jacket and pressed it around the slender man.

"Thanks, Jim." Blair whispered as he pulled himself away.

"Come on, let's get out of the bathroom." The detective guided him through the door, deliberately leaving Blair's discarded jacket in the bathroom.

Sitting him in a chair, Ellison went back into the bathroom and returned with some damp paper towels and placed them on Blair's forehead. Blair took them off suddenly, not wanting to be consoled and placed his head in his hands. Ellison was not deterred and placed the towels on the back of Sandburg's neck, his hand firmly working the tension out of the young man's back. Blair was too tired to put up any struggle, besides it felt good. The renewed comfort threatened tears again. "Why Jim?" It was barely a whisper. "Why did she do it?" Ellison knelt down beside his seated friend.

"Blair, she told you why."

"She shouldn't have. It's not her job," he snapped, suddenly angry. Jim stopped his ministrations and stood at the implication that it was his job to protect his partner. Blair realized at once what it sounded like. "Jim, I didn't mean it. Please, Jim. I'm sorry." The tears started again. "It's just, if she dies, it's because of me."

Ellison was going to kneel down again but saw Simon coming down the hall. "Captain."

"How's she doing?" Simon asked.

"We haven't heard anything."

As if on cue a doctor came through the emergency room doors. "Are you Ms. Adam's family?" The older doctor asked the concerned men standing in front of him.

Simon extended his hand. "No. I'm Captain Banks, she works for me," he lied, knowing the doctor wouldn't say anything unless he was her boss. Being a police officer sometimes had its advantages.

"She's on her way to surgery. I'm sorry, Captain, but it doesn't look good. She's stopped breathing several times and in her already weakened condition..." He let his thoughts trail when he saw the misery of the seated man. The doctor changed his mind about any more details. "I'm sorry. I have to go." Turning on his heels, he left.

Simon saw Blair's shoulders shaking and looked at his detective to find out if he should say anything. A simple shake of Ellison's head told him he should bid a hasty retreat and leave them to keep vigil. Besides he wanted to get back to the police station to personally take charge of the investigation of this sorry mess. He wanted some answers. "Here you might want to look at these." Remembering the folders in his hand.

"Thanks, Captain." Jim took the folders with little interest.

"Keep me posted." He nodded and left.

Ellison slumped in the chair next to Blair, letting Blair make the next move, knowing that whatever he needed he would be there for him. Blair doesn't deserve to have to carry around the guilt he is feeling now. To distract himself from his thoughts he opened the top personnel folder labeled, 'Anthony Rivers'. He first examined Tony's picture, and was surprised at the difference. The man he shot only hours ago was a ghost of the man in the picture. He scanned the documents trying to find any clues as to how a police officer could shoot his partner, twice. He knew he would find nothing in the file.

It was an unremarkable career. The citations he got were when he broke a case with Officer Adams or someone else. One of the documents stated that Adams and Rivers had gone through the academy together and Adams asked for him as a partner. He was absently shaking his head when Blair turned to see what his partner was doing.

"What is it Jim?"

"Nothing." Ellison replied, closing the folder, not wanting Blair to be reminded.

"Come on, Jim. What is that?"

"It's Tony's personnel file." Jim carefully watched his partner. He could see Blair's eye change to what Jim called his *official mode*. Well, will his voice change? He wondered.

"Jim, let me see it," Blair insisted, reaching for the folder with one hand and grabbing his glasses out of his shirt pocket with the other.

Yep, definitely official mode. The detective smiled and handed him the top folder.

Ellison opened the second folder, which read 'Josephine Adams'. Again he noticed the photograph seeing the face as it was in the photographs with Bobby. 'She is quite beautiful,' he thought as he studied the face, free of the awful bruises. His eyes fell on the education portion of her record. It was a habit he had taken up since working with the grad student. He was surprised to find she had several degrees: law enforcement, of course; chemistry, boring; photography, well that one was ok; wild life studies, now that was definitely ok, camping was good. He started to warm to this officer when he remembered that she was somewhere nearby hanging on to life by a thread. He couldn't read anymore, thinking that it was such a waste. He should have done something. He had all these special senses and couldn't protect her or his own partner. He closed the folder and rested his head against the wall. "I'm sorry Chief. I let you down."

Blair looked up from his reading with a confused look. "You haven't let me down. I'm sorry it sounded that way. I'm..." Jim interrupted him, shaking his head.

"When a person decides to shoot someone their heartbeat and breathing change. Tony's didn't. His heartbeat and breathing were so rapid I didn't sense a change. I'm sorry, Blair. I'm so sorry."

Blair reached out and put his hand on his arm and patted it. "I guess we both have to work on this hero business," he said with a sad smile.

Ellison covered the young man's hand, smiling down at his friend. "I guess we do."

***

The doctor returned to the men in the waiting room. Ellison spotted him first and rose to meet him. Blair was right behind him, pulling Ellison's coat tightly around him as if it would shield him from terrible news. The look on the doctor's face made Blair's knees weak. Still in his green scrubs the doctor waved them to the closest seats. He needed to sit and it looked like the young man would fall down any minute. "She's made it through the surgery, but her chances aren't too good. She's going to have to be a fighter if she's going to recover. Is she a fighter?"

They both were replaying her last words and they both knew that she had been devastated. Her fight was gone, shattered by the bullet.

"We'll fight for her," Blair answered, trying to forget the doctor's words about her chances. "When can we see her?"

The doctor smiled 'She might just make it with friends like this.' "Not until the anesthesia wears off. Not until morning at least." He looked at the older man. "Why don't you go home, get some rest, and come back in the morning?"

"Chief?" The sentinel looked hopefully at the young man.

Blair just shook his head, not looking at either of them.

The doctor had seen this too many times and knew not to push the matter. Again he directed his remarks to the older man. "I'll have someone let you know when you can see her and if there is any change." He looked at the young man and patted his shoulder as he got up to leave.

"Thanks, Doctor," Ellison said as he watched the doctor leave.

***

The next morning, as scheduled, a nurse led Blair to a cubicle in the ICU ward. Ellison had let Blair go first since only one could enter at a time. She stopped just outside the room. "Sir," she said, getting his attention. "She is going to look bad. She is hooked up to a lot of machines, but I assure you she's not in any pain." The nurse tried to reassure the frightened young man she led through ICU. He nodded and she held the door open for him.

A small gasp escaped his mouth when his eyes finally adjusted to the dim room and focused on the sleeping woman. 'God. The nurse wasn't exaggerating.' She had a heart monitor that beeped rhythmically and several IV's hanging around her.

The nurse grasped his arm as a precaution. He tore his sight away from the stricken officer and gave the nurse a reassuring smile. She let go and let the door close behind her.

Blair let himself look around the room before looking at the woman again. There were two empty beds in the room. She was in the bed closest to a large window, which showed doctors and nurses going about their business. The window also provided the only source of light for the room. He found a chair in the corner and brought it over to the side of the bed. He started to study the woman lying before him. He avoided looking at all the wires and tubes and just concentrated on her face. 'She looks so peaceful even through the bruises.' He carefully brushed her hair off her forehead and leaned over and kissed it. The moisture around his eyes was back. "Jo. You have to fight. You have to live. Jo? Jim and I are here for you. We won't leave you." To reassure her he carefully slipped his hand into hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Jo. I'm right here. Please fight. I need you to come back. I need to talk to you. Please." His voice broke and he could no longer speak. Without letting go of her hand, he pulled the chair closer and sat down.

Jim could hear his friend's words, using his senses as he watched through the window. Please, Lord, let this woman live. He prayed silently, knowing his friend would never be the same if she died.

They spent two days like that. Jim, at the window, watching over his friend. Blair whispering encouragements. The doctors and nurses tried on several occasions to get them to leave, but without the big guy physically dragging the little one out he was not going anywhere. Several times the nurses were able to get the detective to take short naps on the couch in the nurse's lounge, which luckily was just down the hall and Ellison could monitor Blair fairly easily. Simon had been by several times to check on her progress and update Ellison on the investigation.

The doctor from the emergency room approached Ellison at the end of the second day. "Detective?" Ellison looked down at the doctor. "Detective, we are going to move Ms Adams out of ICU and take her to a private room and we need to get your friend to go home. He's going to end up as a patient if he doesn't get some sleep."

"Doc, I've tried. Believe me," he sighed, shrugging hopelessly. He would try again but this time he had a sure solution to get his partner to go home and get some much needed sleep.

The doctor led the way to the woman's room.

"Mr. Sandburg?" Blair's red, bloodshot eyes met the doctor's.

"Mr. Sandburg. We have to have you leave. We need to attend to Ms Adams."

Blair saw Jim standing behind the doctor and the look on his face let him know that he would lose if he tried to argue. Blair slowly rose and leaned over her and brushed her forehead. "I'll be right outside. You just keep fighting." He turned, grabbed Jim's jacket, and crossed to the door. Ellison put a hand on his shoulder and guided him out.

Banks was waiting for them. "How's she doing?" He studied his men. Ellison looked a little weary but looked a lot better then Sandburg, who had slumped into the nearest chair. He was so scruffy looking he looked even more like a hippie, if that was possible.

"She's doing better. They're going to take her to a private room. I guess that means she's getting better." Ellison offered.

"Good." Simon turned his attention to the smaller man. "Sandburg, you need to go home now. If you don't get some rest you're going to be in a bed down the hall." Blair just shook his head. "That's an order." Before Blair could respond with 'I don't work for you', Ellison knelt in front of his friend and got his attention.

"Chief. Simon will drive you home and you get some sleep. I'm going to stay with her." Blair started to protest when Ellison put his hands on his shoulders. "You did tell her that *we* wouldn't leave her didn't you." He paused then continued. "Come on Chief, you don't want to let her down and fall asleep when she really needs you. Do you?"

Blair slowly shook his head. He was so tired he didn't have the strength to argue anymore. "Okay Jim. If you stay with her and keep telling her to fight." Blair started to put Jim's jacket on.

Jim smiled warmly and looked at his Captain. Simon took that as his cue and led Blair towards the exit. Jim looked at the retreating figures and had to smile. The tall captain had an arm on the shorter man's shoulder. Sandburg looked so much smaller with the over sized coat on. Jim wondered when he would get his jacket back.

***

Blair was standing in front of Jo's new room. He took a deep breath and braced himself before opening the door. He was standing at the foot of her bed. He smiled when he saw his friend. The detective was seated in a chair beside the bed but his upper body stretched the distance to the bed with his head resting on the bed and his arm draped over her legs. As Blair circled the bed he found his friend holding her hand, like he had done for the last two days. He hated to do it but Jim would be sore for days if he stayed like that for too long. Blair gently shook his shoulder. Ellison came awake instantly and moaned as he lifted his head. His vision focused on a widely grinning grad student. "Hey, Chief. Geez you look better." At least the shower and shave helped with the illusion although he still looked tired. Looking around he carefully put the hand he was holding back on the bed. "What time is it? Did you get any sleep?" He stood and gave a giant stretch with a yawn thrown in for good measure.

Before Blair could answer they both heard a small moan coming from the bed. Blair slid into the chair by the bed, holding her hand. "Come on, Jo. You can do it. You just have to fight."

Her eyes fluttered open. She blinked and got her vision to clear on the view of the light above her bed. She knew she was in the hospital. Then the pain started to bring her to reality. She tried to swallow and closed her eyes against the pain it caused. Her throat was like sand paper. 'Is there water around?' She moved her head to look beside her when she saw two men staring at her. The tall man, was standing behind a smaller one sitting in a chair. She recognized them from somewhere. But where? The one with the hair, I liked him? Didn't I? The big guy? As she studied their concerned faces. Recognition slowly drifted back.

"How are you feeling?" Blair asked softly, gracing her with a warm smile that lit his eyes.

She tried to form the word "thirsty" but nothing came out. All she could do was look at the pitcher sitting next to the bed.

"Oh. Here." He lifted a cup with a straw to her parched lips. "Just a little. You have to take it slow." She closed her eyes and let the cool liquid wash down her throat. "Are you in a lot of pain?"

She nodded as she remembered being shot. She tried to move her shoulder slightly. The pain shouted the location of the entrance of the bullet.

"Do you want me to get a nurse?"

She shook her head carefully, remembering being in Blair's arms as he cried.

"What can we do to help?"

She squeezed his hand in response and tried to smile. That's when she remembered everything. She looked at Ellison and croaked out a single word. "Tony?" She saw no change in the detective's face, only noticing his jaw muscle twitch. Blair's expression told her the answer and she closed her eyes against the tears that were rushing out.

"I'm sorry." Ellison whispered.

She started to roll over on her side wanting to curl up and die. Blair was up trying to stop or help her she wasn't sure. Feeling his gentle hands, she instantly needed more. Maybe it would make the pain go away? She put her arm around his waist and pulled him closer to the bed. Blair understood what she wanted and what he couldn't do in the loft that night. He smiled down at her then moved her hand from around his waist, carefully maneuvered under the IVs and slid onto the bed. He slid his arm under her head and placed the other on her hip, afraid to touch her back or side. She slowly moved her left arm across Blair's middle and grabbed his shirt while trying to bury her tears in his chest.

A soft voice came from above them. "It wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known."

"I was his partner. I should have known." She started to cough.

When the coughing stopped Ellison explained. "You weren't there."

Her confused look asked the question.

"The coroner's report, said that he had only been on the drugs for a short time, a couple of months at the most."

Careful of her sore throat, she spoke softly. "But I was under for..." She paused, trying to remember.

"5 weeks," Ellison supplied.

Her mind went over the weeks before she went undercover, searching for clues. "I thought he was just nervous about me going undercover." Shaking her head, she moaned, "oh, Tony." The tears started again as she gripped Blair's shirt, trying to fight them. "I'm sorry I let you down."

"Hey." Ellison reached over and touched her arm. "You didn't let him down." He remembered all the times he had given this same talk to Blair: after Lash, after Angie Ferris, after Dawson Quinn. He shook his head to stop his thoughts. He looked at his friend and found him remembering too. Ellison gave him a quick smile then turned back to her. "He did it to himself. You didn't force him to take the drugs. You didn't force him to blow your cover or throw you in the water." She winced at what was coming next. He stopped talking and slipped his hand into hers. "You did the best you could. You tried to stop him. You tried to save him, to bring him back. He was simply too far gone. It was too late for him." He squeezed her hand. "But it's not too late for you. You survived. You will survive."

With that Blair tightened his hold reaffirming they would help her together. She gave him a sad smile then closed her eyes and shuddered. "Are you all right?" Blair quietly asked.

"Cold."

Ellison reached over and pulled the blanket up.

She wept trying to believe the words, wanting to believe the words. Ellison knew it would take time for her to trust again. From what he had witnessed and what he had found out about her, she was a good person and a good officer. It would be a terrible waste if she couldn't trust again. He saw Blair's pain grow as he held tightly to the crying officer. He thought it better to leave and give them time to recover. He rose to leave.

"Detective?" She managed through her tears.

Ellison turned and walked back to her. He gave her a smile of encouragement.

She took strength from the smile and continued. "Have you ever lost a...partner." Tears filled her eyes at the word she swore she would never use again.

His smile faded but his eyes were still kind. He sat in the chair so they could see each other better. He knew this was very important to the officer. He simply answered "Yes".

"Was he or she a ... friend," avoiding the word, best.

"Yes, he was a good friend." He added the quality of the friendship missing in her questions. He looked over at Blair, who's look he immediately recognized, as Blair's *guide mode* look.

Blair sat quietly, surprise that Jim would be so honest in answering such a personal question, especially from a stranger. But upon thinking about it, it seamed normal for Jim to try to help a fellow officer, especially an officer who just saved his partner's life.

Jim took her hand gently and gave it a squeeze of encouragement. Carefully watching the chest she was lying on rise and fall. She whispered. "How did you..."

"Survive?" Ellison finished. She nodded, bracing herself for the 'don't worry time will heal everything' speech she had heard a thousand times before.

Ellison thought carefully knowing that he held the first steps to her recovery in his hands. He let go of her hand for emphasis. "I put up walls." He didn't look at Blair. "So nothing would hurt me again." Jim waited patiently for her to look him in the eye. He didn't have to wait long as his answer caught her off guard. She looked at him in confusion, as did Blair.

"I spent five years alone. I wouldn't let anyone in, not even my wife. She's my ex-wife now. That's how good I was at it." He paused to let that sink in before he continued. He took her hand and leaned forward. "But you can't do that. You can't waste years doing that." His face saddened at his memories of that sorry time. "You can't wait to find someone who is brave enough or strong enough to break down the walls and find you lost inside." He finally looked at this friend to confirm that Blair understood.

She followed Ellison's eyes and found Blair blushing at the other end. Her eyes sparkled at the sight then quickly faded as the hurt returned.

Ellison started to stiffen as he saw her pain. His voice was strong again. "Besides, we won't let you." He squeezed her hand and gave her a 'that settles that' smile and let go of her hand.

Blair was speechless. He just shook his head, smiling. Wanting to fill her empty hand with the warmth that her soul was looking for, she grasped Blair's waist as a shudder traveled through her body. She started to cry at the kindness around her. The kindness she didn't deserve for letting her best friend die. The best friend that almost killed her. Twice. She cried harder.

She was so caught up in crying that she didn't hear Ellison get up and go around the bed. She only became aware when the bed dipped behind her and a solid warm body pressed against her back. He quickly settled and a strong arm crossed her body just under her arm. She felt fingers intertwine with hers as she held Blair's waist. Her other hand found his upper arm and gave it a weak squeeze.

"It's Jim." He said quietly. "If I'm going to lay in bed with you, it's Jim."

"Then it's Jo." She smiled into Blair's chest.

Remembering her nickname and how it had made her angry, he answered. "Okay. Josie." Blair gave him a questioning look. "Well it is Josephine, isn't it?" Jim answered.

"Josie it is." Blair seconded.

"Josie," she whispered, trying her new nickname. 'A new name, a new start?' She liked it.

"Jim?" He tightened his hold to answer. "Don't let go." She whispered.

The tears came again but this time they were tears of hope. Perhaps she could, would survive this. She wanted to survive, for no other reason than to get to know the two men in her bed.

"Never," Jim whispered in her ear then laid his head on the bed. Blair tightened his grip to give her his response.

***

The Doctor opened the door and was shocked at the sight in front of him. The men that wouldn't leave her side were now squeezed into the same bed as his patient. The tall one had one arm pillowed under his head, the other long arm across his patient and ending on the other man. The little one's hand rested on the intertwined hands while the other one securely held his patient. She was gently holding on to both of them, breathing slowly and deeply.

The older man was making an awful snoring noise, sure to wake up his patient. "What the hell is going on in here?" The doctor asked, restraining his shock.

Ellison jumped off the bed, blinking wildly at the Doctor, not sure what was wrong. He looked at the bed. He hadn't planned to fall asleep. How long had he been like that? Looking back at the annoyed doctor rounding the bed, he offered lamely. "She was cold." The doctor just shook his head at the stunned officer.

Blair was awake but didn't want to move her. "Sorry Doc." The doctor carefully held up her arm and the IV tubes so Blair could slide out from underneath. "You both should know better than this. Where were the nurses?" He chastised them.

She moaned at the movement and the sudden coldness of the room. "Hey. Stop shouting. Can't a person sleep around here? I thought this was a hospital. Whispers and sneakers, I thought." She croaked.

The doctor gently rolled her onto her back. When her shoulder touched the bed she let out a soft moan. "I have to examine you. I'm sorry," he whispered. She smiled at his sudden change of volume. She opened her eyes to find Ellison and Sandburg standing by the door.

"We'll be right outside," Ellison smiled at her.

"Just yell if you need us," Sandburg added as he shot a look at the doctor who was suddenly too busy to notice.

Ellison put an arm on Blair's shoulder. "Come on buddy." He steered him towards the door.

"Hey guys," Josie called, waiting for them to turn around. "Thanks." Her eyes started to tear. "My friends." It wasn't the word as much as the smile that reached up and touched her eyes for the first time that made the guys uncomfortable.

They smiled back and headed for the door, trying to hang onto whatever was left of their machoizm.

For the doctor's sake.

The End