Title: Before Dawn
Author: Jmas
Email: jmtm1@eastky.net
Date: October 12, 2000
Rating: PG
Archive: Will be archived at Idol Pursuits when beta'ed
Category: angst, H/C
Disclaimer: Not mine <sigh>they belong to PetFly Productions, etc.
Summary: Cliches are clichés...but often true...
Author's note: Thanks to Jane for the beta, and Anna for consistent bugging this past week...<g> I really needed that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before Dawn
By Jmas

Dark.

It was still dark.

Hot now, not cold like before...

But Blair had thought Jim had come. He remembered the Sentinel coming, saving him, promising always to come...

A dream. Just a dream.

Waves of loneliness welled up from Blair's soul...encompassing, shattering...

A single thought swam free of the deluge, a single word bubbling to the surface in a scream of need and entreaty...

"Jim!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jim's eyes shot open at the sound of Blair's voice; the first word, the first real sign of consciousness since he'd passed out on the way up out of the ravine three days ago. Days full of anger at the drunken bastard who had struck Jim's closest friend with hundreds of pounds of Detroit steel at extreme velocity, then left him to die alone in the dark. On the back of that considerable anger, Jim seethed at the weary-eyed doctors who shook their collective heads over Blair's battered and infected body, and quoted odds only an idiot would bet against. Jim was in no way an idiot, but he knew something the doctor's didn't...

Blair Sandburg was a fighter.,. tough and tenacious in ways that often astounded Jim. Over the course of their unorthodox partnership, Jim had discovered the smaller man - at first glance so *not* the physically tough sort - possessed a core of iron and an unassuming courage that had often pulled them both through some of the toughest times of their lives. Jim's own temper had often fallen victim to Blair's implacable reason combined with his staunch refusal to back down when he knew he was right. Even at his most infuriating, Blair made Jim think and had more than earned the Sentinel's respect.

Jim reached out to touch the sweat-soaked curls; unable to shake the certainty that Blair had been calling to him...needed him. Somewhere in the depths of his fevered dreams, Blair was trying to find his way back. Jim shuddered at the memory of his friend lying so pale and still in a pool of muddy crimson that had stained Blair's clothes and spilled over to seep into the dirt and grass. Another hour, Jim could still hear the grim intonation in his head, another hour and Blair would have lost the leg...or his life...or, inevitably, both.

Watching the tiny muscles tensely dance across Blair's forehead in response to who knew what sort of dreams, Jim sighed in impotent frustration.

"Come on, buddy. Time to come back now..." Jim whispered into the silence of the pre-dawn shadows of the room. His eyes scanned his friend's face for any sign of reaction from the incongruously still form on the bed. Nothing. Blair was lost in some twilight world of fever heat and pain, and Jim could only hold vigil and pray Blair could find his way back...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jim?

Blair had thought he'd heard Jim's voice, but Jim wasn't here in the dark ravine with him. Jim was out there searching, Blair was certain...

It was getting hotter. Blair recognized that he was probably fevered. He'd been chilled earlier when the dew had fallen; it made sense that he'd get sick. Blair almost laughed at the words Big Jim, Sentinel Mother, would have to say about the fact that he was only wearing a light jacket. Jim's protective side was both heart-warming and frustrating. Frustrating in its occasional tendency to categorize Blair somewhere between infancy and puberty in his ability to take care of himself, but it was also heart-warming that someone besides his mother cared enough to bother. There hadn't been many of those in his life. It felt good.

He was so thirsty, the dryness of his mouth almost as painful as his leg. He was just too damn hot...

'Where are you, Jim?'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jim looked up quickly.

Blair hadn't stirred and yet Jim could have sworn he'd just heard his guide's voice. Moving closer to the bedside, Jim laid his hand on Blair's forehead. Dry and hot. Too damn hot.

The fever was winning.

'Stop that, Ellison,' Jim berated himself. Negative thoughts would only serve to focus negative energy Blair didn't need right now. 'Oh, shit, he's got me doing it.'

Jim grinned at the thought. A few years ago, he'd have been hard-pressed to even conceive of 'negative energy' much less lend credence to the possibility. His partnership - his friendship - with Blair had been an education on so many levels. Blair imparted knowledge and admittedly weird concepts the same way he did almost everything, dropping a concept or word and moving on so quickly you never realized you'd just learned something until one day you just 'knew.' Jim had seen the regard Blair's students held him in, and figured they were as surprised as he was to discover just how much they had learned under Blair's hit and run method of education and enlightenment.

Hit and run...bad analogy given the circumstances...but appropriate.

Looking once again at the pale, still face of the one man he knew was never willingly still unless enraptured by words on paper, Jim sighed. It was just 'wrong' to see Blair this way. The eyes should be open, the clear intelligence radiating from the blue depths and into Jim's soul with stubborn tenacity...even at times when Jim had trouble admitting he had a soul. Blair was more than friend, more than brother, more than guide and Jim felt surprisingly - incomplete - without him. It had been three and a half days now since they'd spoken on the phone. Jim needed to reconnect them somehow; he knew that as surely as he knew Blair. Which he did. On levels great and small and so totally unexpected it was almost shocking that he hadn't noticed before.

The only problem was...

How?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blair felt the heat of his body seeping away into the nothingness around him and being replaced by a comforting coolness that should have relaxed him. Instead he felt energized - almost as if his body were preparing itself for...something...something that even now pulled at him, drawing him up and out of the ravine with a gentle swaying motion.

Safe. He was safe.

Jim?

A strong presence swept over Blair - familiar, steady, close - not quite close enough to speak, but...there...

He wasn't alone anymore.

Blair became aware of the darkness gradually fading through myriad shades of grey...still not light enough to see anything, but better. Until a wave of heat brought the blackness back in a rush...dragging him back down...away from Jim...

God, no. Not now...

The feeling of 'Jim' grew stronger. Blair could almost hear the Sentinel's voice.

*Damn you, Sandburg, you can't go...*

Go? Where was he going?

*Please, Chief...*

Shit. Jim never said please. Well, hardly ever, but never like *that*...sounding so...afraid...

"Jim?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jim gently rocked the fevered body in his arms, keeping up the litany of words he'd long since stopped thinking about. The feeling that Blair was moving further away by the second overwhelmed all conscious thought. Blair was leaving him again...

"Damn you, Sandburg, you can't go..." Jim clung tighter to the smaller man, determination rising up within him. This couldn't be happening again. They had already done the dying thing and it had 'sucked'. Worse, it had driven them so far apart they were still in the process of finding their way back. "Please, Blair..."

"Jim?" A breath of sound, maybe just a breath, but to Sentinel ears something akin to music.

Looking down, Jim saw a glitter of blue under long brown lashes.

"Blair?"

Hands that had been so eerily still for so long patted at Jim's arms.

"' S'okay, Jim,...'s'okay.... "

With a laugh born of triumph and the purest pleasure, Jim nodded and rubbed his bristled cheek against the lank curls.

"It is now...."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sounds in the kitchen drew Blair up from the depths of sleep and he smiled. Jim was cooking and trying to be quiet at the same time....

'Impossible.'

Jim looked up as Blair snorted at his own joke. Almost as if he knew the punch line, Jim grinned and shrugged his shoulders apologetically. Blair just shook his head and shifted carefully to a sitting position on the couch.

"You okay?" The question sounded 'almost' normal...as if Blair hadn't nearly died a week before.

Blair thought for a long moment about darkness and death and stubborn Sentinels who didn't seem inclined to heed the laws of entropy. He thought about waking up to the touch of a hand more precious than any other in his life. He thought about the man who'd come for him, twice now, when he walked the shadowy border between being and not being. Okay? Not completely...physical recovery would be a long, painful process for both of them. But looking into the worried eyes that assessed him so patiently while waiting for an answer, Blair knew that where it mattered...in their hearts and souls...there was only one answer to the question.

"Okay?" he grinned. "Jim, if I were any more okay I'd be worried."

Jim smiled back, obviously understanding the feeling more than the words. "Me, too, Chief. Me, too."

Their world had taken a huge leap since the dark night nearly two weeks ago...a leap into faith nearly forgotten. Neither of them had brought up the subject, nor did they need to yet. They might never need to. It was enough to know the bond was there. Being the two divergent people they were, it was less than perfect, but still stronger than anything they had ever known.

And that was enough.

*fin*